THEY REALLY DO EXIST!

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THEY REALLY DO EXIST!
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Color me surprised. Though it's fitting that they're purely decorative, if you ask me! - Matty Malaprop

Baked Potato

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Baked Potato
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Dude takes the term (s)mashed to a whole new level. - Matty Malaprop

POLAR BEAR

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POLAR BEAR
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When it comes to polarity, there are no wrongs or whites, only positives and negatives. #ThatJokeWasBadAndIFeelBad - Matty Malaprop

Better Than the Ones That Make You Do Pushups

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Better Than the Ones That Make You Do Pushups
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Wear one of these and you'll never have to worry about self-esteem again! ... or at least until some crafty boy figures out how to get it off you in less than three seconds. - Matty Malaprop

I'll Falcon Kick You in the FACE for Not Knowing How to Spell Falcon!

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I'll Falcon Kick You in the FACE for Not Knowing How to Spell Falcon!
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... and then I'll falcon punch you, and falcon uppercut you and a whole manner of other falcon-related things, just because you added that stupid L. THIS IS YOUR FOLLY! - Matty Malaprop