What a Lovely Sight

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What a Lovely Sight
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Sometimes it's simply better not to ask. The responses you might warrant can often be meteorically disturbing. - Matty Malaprop

... And Suddenly I'm BFFs with Tooth Decay

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... And Suddenly I'm BFFs with Tooth Decay
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Something tells me that this instrument won't do wonders for my receding gum line... - Matty Malaprop

Cage-Free Eggs

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Cage-Free Eggs
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Why do you want to start your morning without a lil' bit of the Nic? He just doesn't understand why you would want to do such a thing... - Matty Malaprop

The Pit and the Pendul-UM.

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The Pit and the Pendul-UM.
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Q: How to you make the Teletubbies even creepier? A: Have them recite such works as "Hop-Frog" and "The Telltale Heart" while prancing around in their already vaguely sexual and inappropriate way.

... aaaaaaaaaaand QED. - Matty Malaprop

Not Particularly, No...

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Not Particularly, No...
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Dear athetits, if God doesn't exist, how me a moth learn innuendo? - Matty Malaprop