I Do, Actually...

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combover,come over,creepy,literalism,question,similar sounding
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I just... I don't... excuse me while I go vomit. - Matty Malaprop

Reason Number 1,307,248 Not to Trust Craigslist

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Ad,blonde,blue eyes,body,creepy,description,double meaning,face,female,Hall of Fame,internet,literalism,lolwut,model,personal
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The part of her ad this comic doesn't show is the creepiest part of all: "I've got the love of a thousand hearts to give you, and I can offer you ass for days..." - Matty Malaprop

Cage-Free Eggs

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creepy,eggs,cage-free,nicolas cage,double meaning
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Why do you want to start your morning without a lil' bit of the Nic? He just doesn't understand why you would want to do such a thing... - Matty Malaprop

Leaving So Bassoon?

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question,bassoon,SOON,creepy,double meaning,suffix
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Punmaster Matt says: "A friend asked me to turn him into a meme..."

Well, it's no epic sax guy, but I guess it'll do in a pinch. - Matty Malaprop