Something tells me that this instrument won't do wonders for my receding gum line... - Matty Malaprop
Not sure if dark comedy or darkest, most soul-devouring comedy of all time... - Matty Malaprop
Why do you want to start your morning without a lil' bit of the Nic? He just doesn't understand why you would want to do such a thing... - Matty Malaprop
Punmaster Matt says: "A friend asked me to turn him into a meme..."
Well, it's no epic sax guy, but I guess it'll do in a pinch. - Matty Malaprop
I'm sure they'll be more than happy to phile a report about the neighborhood's latest creepy pedostrian. - Matty Malaprop
Looks like somebody's gonna be Barackin' and rollin' all night... - Matty Malaprop
Want more political funny? It's cooking over at Pundit Kitchen!
I just... I don't... excuse me while I go vomit. - Matty Malaprop
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