... And Suddenly I'm BFFs with Tooth Decay

Favorite
brush,creepy,literalism,tooth,toothbrush,wtf
- -

Something tells me that this instrument won't do wonders for my receding gum line... - Matty Malaprop

Would You Watch This Crossover Show?

Favorite
mashup,Curb Your Enthusiasm,creepy,furby,larry david
- -

Not sure if dark comedy or darkest, most soul-devouring comedy of all time... - Matty Malaprop

Cage-Free Eggs

Favorite
creepy,eggs,cage-free,nicolas cage,double meaning
- -

Why do you want to start your morning without a lil' bit of the Nic? He just doesn't understand why you would want to do such a thing... - Matty Malaprop

Leaving So Bassoon?

Favorite
question,bassoon,SOON,creepy,double meaning,suffix
- -

Punmaster Matt says: "A friend asked me to turn him into a meme..."

Well, it's no epic sax guy, but I guess it'll do in a pinch. - Matty Malaprop

Let Me Just Go Call 911 Now...

Favorite
children,creepy,double meaning,literalism,sign,watch,watching,weird
- -

I'm sure they'll be more than happy to phile a report about the neighborhood's latest creepy pedostrian. - Matty Malaprop

I Do, Actually...

Favorite
combover,come over,creepy,literalism,question,similar sounding
- -

I just... I don't... excuse me while I go vomit. - Matty Malaprop