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Maybe I'm just too cynical to appreciate love, but I've always felt like weddings are simply mulch ado about nothing. - Matty Malaprop

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I chuckled, sure, but I'm pretty convinced most of these puns have a very short Half-Life. - Matty Malaprop

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By xyzpdq1
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Say what you will about my ever-expanding collection of lava lamps! I still maintain that they're an evergreen decor item! - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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I ain't even ashamed to admit that. And by that I mean I'm totally and completely ashamed to admit that.

But seriously. Seriously. Click this link. Listen to this song. It will be stuck in your head 5ever. I'm sorry. - Matty Malaprop

If you think One Direction is a terrible band, you're totally Autocowreck.