Available at a grocery shoop near you. - Matty Malaprop

Don't let his maniacal sadism wear on you, boys! We're bound to catch him in the act spooner or later! - Matty Malaprop

Toucan play at the time-traveling assassin game. And touwill. - Matty Malaprop

Set humor to ludicrous speed!

Air Jordans might be more expensive, but this guy knows you can't beat shoes that are kid-tested and mother-approved! - Matty Malaprop

Um... well... I mean... OH COME ON THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR YOU CAN'T MAKE LEMONADE WITH MILK! - Matty Malaprop

I mean, seriously, it's not even level with the bowl's brim! - Matty Malaprop