As Long As You Don't Call Me Late for Dinner

Favorite
As Long As You Don't Call Me Late for Dinner
- -

File under: Jokes My Father Told Me When I Was Young That I Never Really Understood... - Matty Malaprop

Do You Want to Groan Today? Just Read This.

Favorite
Do You Want to Groan Today? Just Read This.
- -

Looks like somebody walked into that pun so hard they got straight-up Fort Knoxed out. - Matty Malaprop

Looks Like Somebody's a Derivative That Wants to Lay Tangent to Her Curves...

Favorite
Looks Like Somebody's a Derivative That Wants to Lay Tangent to Her Curves...
- -

... aaaaaaaaaaand this is why I majored in English. My sweet nothings don't require solving for variables, hollaaaaaa! - Matty Malaprop

Yo Dawg...

Favorite
Yo Dawg...
- -

I heard you like crock pots, so we put a pair of crocs in your crock pot so you can cook crocs in your crock pot while you croc crock pot! - Matty Malaprop

Better Than an Oxymeowron...

Favorite
Better Than an Oxymeowron...
- -

Don't feel bad if you can't find a satisfactory answer to this question. I mean, sometimes it's best to just accept the fact that you can't wien 'em all. Just like the above pun doesn't wien at spelling. - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe

Favorite
ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe
- -

Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop

F'in A

Favorite
F'in A
- -

It's an expletive within an expletive! - Matty Malaprop