As Long As You Don't Call Me Late for Dinner

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File under: Jokes My Father Told Me When I Was Young That I Never Really Understood... - Matty Malaprop

Looks Like Somebody's a Derivative That Wants to Lay Tangent to Her Curves...

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... aaaaaaaaaaand this is why I majored in English. My sweet nothings don't require solving for variables, hollaaaaaa! - Matty Malaprop

Magnum PI

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If you think Magnum's looking good, then you should see how well those old doberman PInschers at the Robin's Nest aged! - Matty Malaprop

A Creature Steeped in Mythos

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The flavor is meaty and full, but man oh man does it do awful things to your teeth... - Matty Malaprop

Do You Want to Groan Today? Just Read This.

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au,element,gold,abbreviation,periodic table
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Looks like somebody walked into that pun so hard they got straight-up Fort Knoxed out. - Matty Malaprop

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