Looks like somebody walked into that pun so hard they got straight-up Fort Knoxed out. - Matty Malaprop

It may be the only thing Grumpy Cat approves of, but it is a thing, at least. - Matty Malaprop

I'm not sure who would be more proud, Tony Stark of Steve Harris. - Matty Malaprop

Jason Schwartzman, why are you the greatest human being? - Matty Malaprop

After he got over his fear of public speaking, Terry left his weekly AA meetings feeling positively energized. - Matty Malaprop

Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop

... aaaaaaaaaaand this is why I majored in English. My sweet nothings don't require solving for variables, hollaaaaaa! - Matty Malaprop