Mayo You Make An Awesome Sandwich On This Day

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Mayo You Make An Awesome Sandwich On This Day
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You know, using five jars of mayo on one sandwich isn't that out of the ordinary if you live in Sweden. - Matty Malaprop

Do You Want to Groan Today? Just Read This.

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Do You Want to Groan Today? Just Read This.
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Looks like somebody walked into that pun so hard they got straight-up Fort Knoxed out. - Matty Malaprop

Magnum PI

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Magnum PI
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If you think Magnum's looking good, then you should see how well those old doberman PInschers at the Robin's Nest aged! - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe

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ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe
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Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop

'Hi Terry.'

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'Hi Terry.'
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After he got over his fear of public speaking, Terry left his weekly AA meetings feeling positively energized. - Matty Malaprop

Post-Traumatic Bake Disorder

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Post-Traumatic Bake Disorder
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It's not all bad though. At the very least, they discharged him from the U.S. Oven with a Purple Heart baked into his frosting uniform. - Matty Malaprop