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I suppose wrestling isn't an inconceivable panda pastime... though if copulation is an unappealing exercise for them, I can't imagine their matches in the ring are terribly riveting. - Matty Malaprop

It's not all bad though. At the very least, they discharged him from the U.S. Oven with a Purple Heart baked into his frosting uniform. - Matty Malaprop

Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop

It's an expletive within an expletive! - Matty Malaprop

It may be the only thing Grumpy Cat approves of, but it is a thing, at least. - Matty Malaprop

Jason Schwartzman, why are you the greatest human being? - Matty Malaprop