Looks Like Somebody's a Derivative That Wants to Lay Tangent to Her Curves...

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Looks Like Somebody's a Derivative That Wants to Lay Tangent to Her Curves...
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... aaaaaaaaaaand this is why I majored in English. My sweet nothings don't require solving for variables, hollaaaaaa! - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe

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ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe
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Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop

As Long As You Don't Call Me Late for Dinner

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As Long As You Don't Call Me Late for Dinner
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File under: Jokes My Father Told Me When I Was Young That I Never Really Understood... - Matty Malaprop

She's a Fe-Male!

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She's a Fe-Male!
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I'm not sure who would be more proud, Tony Stark of Steve Harris. - Matty Malaprop

Magnum PI

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Magnum PI
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If you think Magnum's looking good, then you should see how well those old doberman PInschers at the Robin's Nest aged! - Matty Malaprop

F'in A

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F'in A
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It's an expletive within an expletive! - Matty Malaprop