vampire

VAMPIRES this was the real deal

INADEQUACY when a puppet makes a better vampire than you could ever be.

VAMPIRE level: redneck

GLAMPIRE maybe he's born with it, maybe it's gaybeline

DOESN'T SEEM LEGIT you can't catch photos of vampires

FINALLY!

STILL NOT AS GAY AS wait...

OH LOOK! they renamed twilight

FOR THE LAST TIME... I don't sparkle

WIMPY VAMPIRES if you're gonna make a vampire character who's a complete pansy at least make him funny.

BUT I DO you begin with twilight.

AND YOU THOUGHT her tendency to have sex with vampires was bad...

WELL now it all makes sense

WTF DO YOU MEAN DOES MY SKIN SPARKLE? do I look like Mariah Carey B*tch?

THE VAMPIRE'S ASS whether I look depends on the vampire