British

British Dobby Hall of Fame Harry Potter prince charles royalty - 4747134720
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Prince Charles Totally Looks Like Dobby

The obvious thing to do would be to make an inbreeding joke. But ya'll didn't care for it the last time I did it. But c'mon! It's so easy! FINE! Instead I will just say, "Prince Charles and Camilla, what a pair they make! A house elf and a horse, isn't it great?!"

British George V Nicholas II russia united kingdom - 4777849088
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Nicholas II of Russia Totally Looks Like George V of the United Kingdom

AWWWWWW YEAH! History just got INTERESTING! Oh, no, wait... It didn't. Sorry.

British Daniel Radcliffe dylan moran glasses Harry Potter - 4431333632
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Young Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) Totally Looks Like Dylan Moran

Once, while traveling in London, I stopped in a little bookstore called Black Books. A surly Irish man with a cigarette dangling from his wine-stained lips screamed at me to leave before I was able to pick up a copy of "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows." Just as well, because I don't even know how to read!

British directors kate middleton kathryn bigelow royalty - 4799275776
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Kathryn Bigelow Totally Looks Like Kate Middleton

One married a world-renowned director and the other married a prince. Why is it that all I have to show for my love life is a strange, untreatable rash?!

actors bill bailey British comedians philosophers Thomas Hobbes - 4644375296
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Bill Bailey Totally Looks Like Thomas Hobbes

OMG, guys, English philosopher Thomas Hobbes is totally winking at me! THAT FLIRT! Since he's technically dead, though, I guess I'll just have to settle for a night of passion with Bill Bailey. And while I wouldn't consider him my "type," it would be cool if instead of anything sexual we just reenacted scenes from "Black Books."