wife

OP: Dear wife, hold my hand, not my head!!

..... I hope that's champagne she's spraying

SMART WIFE uses google

Via NY Post:

Fan Lung, a dad of five, sealed his fate when he decided to use his wife's cellphone to send his secret lover a hot and heavy email, Central European News reports.

The 32-year-old forgot to log out of his account after the message was sent, which is how his 21-year-old wife, Feng — who is now under arrest for grievous bodily harm — came across the saucy exchange and snapped.

The jilted wife went berserk, grabbed a pair of scissors, stormed into their bedroom and cut off his penis while he was sleeping.

Lung was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were able to save the appendage and sew it back on. But Feng was able to sneak into the recovery room, where she chopped his penis off a second time and threw it out the window, according to CEN.