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Twitter Thread Spins Tale Of Macho Men, Urine, And A Single Jellyfish

It's been a while since we shared an entertaining Twitter story with y'all, and we're happy to be able to change that today. Twitter user @enswelljones shared this hilarious tale from his teenage years last Friday, and it's responsible for the kind of serious out-loud laughter we wish happened more often. The scuba-diving anecdote is the perfect kind of humbling hilarity that we love to see played out in real life. Reading this amazing takedown of masculinity is almost as satisfying as seeing it in person.

funny scuba diving twitter story about peeing on a guys mouth | Chris Jones @EnswellJones want say 16, maybe. My family went Florida and still am- passionate SCUBA diver water is only place feel graceful went by myself on dive boat. There and maybe six other divers- all big, brawny men felt very small and hairless. 1:01 PM 17 Jul 20 Twitter Web App 5,448 Retweets and comments 13.3K Likes Chris Jones @EnswellJones 1d Replying EnswellJones have understand dive culture. Some people like fish. Some
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Cringey Tale Of Clueless 'Brexidiots' Has Twitter On The Edge Of Its Seat

You don't have to look far to find breathtaking ignorance in the United States. Anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers, people who actually believe 5G is the cause of coronavirus (it's not). Today, however, we're bringing you a refreshing tale of major stupidity from across the pond, in Europe. Twitter user @Archer_RS went viral yesterday after sharing an unfinished saga about dealing with his English neighbors who voted for Brexit. It seems they did not realize that their holiday home in France would be compromised by the separation from the EU. And appealed to our hero for help.

Our storyteller agreed to assist them, even going as far as to deal with their drunk son and secure him a Friday meeting with the town's Mayor. If you're getting some serious Karen vibes, you're not alone. This tire fitter (and drunk texter) really believes that having a chat with a French mayor will change anything about his parents situation. This delusional dolt even threatened to speak to Nigel Farage. It seems when people don't actually look into the lies that are being sold to them, they ultimately suffer. At least we're gaining some serious entertainment. Even better? Archer's sitting in on Friday's meeting of the minds as a translator. It's nice to have something to look forward to. 

RS Archer thread about people who voted for brexit, son, mayor | RS Archer @archer_rs 1d Long email original couple. They are very angry. Feel they have been lied not sure if they mean or UK government) and want "compensation again not sure who Want write letter confirming they knew nothing about e
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Twitter Thread Argues That 'The Golden Girls' Were Actually Part Of An Organized Crime Ring

You probably remember The Golden Girls as one of the most beloved TV shows of the '80s and '90s. However, you probably never considered the conspiracy theory that the girls were actually part of an organized crime syndicate, an idea presented on Twitter by Michael Harriot, Sr. Writer at The Root. If this sounds ridiculous to you, just scroll through the following tweets and prepare to have your mind changed.

Funny Twitter thread that claims that the 'Golden Girls' were part of some sort of gang or crime ring | michaelharriot @michaelharriot BLACKAF This might be most controversial thing l ever tweeted but 's time America faces truth about group beloved historical figures, so here goes: Blanche, Dorothy, Rose Sophia- Golden Girls- were actually members an organized crime syndicate thread: 1:16 AM Jun 26, 2020 Twitter iPhone
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Chilling Twitter Story About Kid Sneaking Food And Discovering A Trespasser

There's been a lot of talk about Bong Joon-Ho's Oscar-winning Parasite, but this true and incredibly disturbing story kind of trumps it. Horror writer Grady Hendrix shared a chilling tale back in October about innocent food-sneaking gone incredibly wrong. Kids are known for sneaking around, and one night when Hendrix intended to sneak-eat his family's leftovers, he discovered a strange man in his kitchen consuming the contents of the family fridge. It doesn't stop there. His family didn't believe him, but later, some disturbing proof of his "run-in" comes to light. And we are not envious of the experience. 

Creepy twitter story about kid discovering stranger in his kitchen, later the dude dies in the walls of the house, smells, maggots | Grady Hendrix @grady_hendrix One night May 81 ordered Fish Shrimp House waited until everyone asleep crept downstairs eat leftover sweet n'sour pork. took forever finally stepped into totally dark den let down my guard. All sudden heard fork click on counter froze microwave clock light showed outline man sitting at kitchen counter can't explain terrifying is
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Entertaining Twitter Thread Imagines An Aging Millennial's Run-In With A Youth

Do you ever wonder what the world will be like when us Millennials get older? We certainly do. This amusing Twitter thread, imagined by Twitter user Zoom Zoom Lagoon, imagines an elderly Millennial's conversation with a youngin and their mom, and let's just say, it seems pretty accurate of what's to come in the future. Now go check out some Millennial memes here!

Funny Twitter story about an aging Millennial interacting with a young child about their gaming past | ZoomZoomLagoon @ZoomZoomLagoon Imagine are older than dust, Surely headed grave soon have guilted child, Antonicanila let stay with her and her family old age named her because 's just so unique She allowed go get an ice cream cone one day.
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Guy Gets Into Amusing Altercation With A Raccoon In A Hammock

Twitter user Aaron Reynolds got a little surprise visit from a raccoon while relaxing in his hammock and listening to The Rolling Stones. For all the trouble they get into, raccoons sure are lucky that they're so gosh darn cute. Now go check out some prime animal memes here!

Funny Twitter story about a guy who gets into a little skirmish with a raccoon when it gets up into his hammock | Aaron Reynolds @aaronreynolds started new evening ritual leave all my technology inside except my Walkman, and get into hammock back yard and listen an album start finish. My cat has been curious about this new habit, and been trying coax him into hammock
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Wholesome Twitter Story Is A Whirlwind Of Good Deeds & Humor

Twitter is a lot of things: a hub for political rants and raves, a sounding board for comedians, and a great way to keep up with current events and gossip. And as Twitter user @sixthformpoet displays in this classic thread, it's also a fabulous medium for storytellers who deserve their voices to be heard. This three part tale has it all: sadness, serendipitous romance, humor, and even some serious life lessons. And we're willing to bet you'll want more when you reach the end.

Funny three part twitter story from @sixthformpoet, classic twitter thread, tweets, funny tweets, wholesome, love, death, visiting father's grave | sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet ONE My dad died. Classic start funny story. He buried small village Sussex really close my dad so visited his grave lot still do DON'T WORRY GETS FUNNIER 11:52 09/06/2019 Twitter iPhone 175K Retweets 392K Likes
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Guy Shadows A Cop For A Night In This Eye-Opening Twitter Thread

As protesters continue to march through the streets for racial justice, the general public has started to wake up to the realities of policing in America. This Twitter thread, written by University of Florida writing professor Sean Trainor, details a night he spent shadowing a police officer classmate, only to discover just how corrupt the system is.

Let's just say, if you were undecided on the policing system before, this thread might make up your mind.

Interesting Twitter thread from a guy who spent a night riding along with his classmate who was a police officer | Sean Trainor @ess_trainor long time ago younger and dumber did police ride-along with high school classmate who had gone on become cop one most chilling and radicalizing nights my life Thread
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Roundup Of Completely True Stories That Sound Made-Up

Some stories that exist out there sound like they're straight out of a movie. They can't possibly be true, right? Not so - writer Aidan Moher tweeted out the other day asking people to share their most unbelievable true stories, and let us just say...the people delivered.

Interesting Twitter thread of stories that sound fake but are actually true | tweet by MorganPielli Replying adribbleofink went Meetup people w/ social anxiety see Black Swan got there realized had no idea who there Meetup. Too shy ask around watched movie alone checked Meetup night turned out everyone else did same thing
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Dude's Twitter Story Is A Saga Involving Kevin Hart, A Stripper, And Narrowly Avoiding Death

Buckle up folks, this is one hell of a wild ride! Twitter user and comedian @avitable took to the social media site to regale us with a story of narrowly avoiding death at the hand of an unhinged stripper. It starts innocently enough with a Kevin Hart show, and ends with some seriously unfortunate mug shots. While we appreciate the insanity of his story, we're mostly just glad he made it out alive.

Funny twitter story about strippers, kevin hard, and narrowly avoided dead | Adam Heath Avitable @avitable Okay, tweeps, it's storytime. The year was 2015. A young (er) Avitable had tickets to go see @KevinHart4real on April 24th, and invited a stripper named Mandi May Jackson who he knew from his local adult establishment. She agreed, he picked her and they went out on the 'dn town... Adam Heath Avitable is at Amway Center Club Level. April 24, 2015 Orlando Feeling goofy before Kevin Hart gets
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Fifteen Salty People Talk About The Times They Got Effed Over In School

Everyone has an experience they'll never get over from their schooling years. Maybe you got punished once for something you didn't do, or maybe it was that time that your first grade teacher yelled at you in front of the class for getting a math question wrong (looking at you, Ms. Anderson). The following people took to Twitter to reveal the things they're still pissed off about, and we can't say we blame them.

Tweets about things people are still annoyed about that their teachers did growing up | Don't Call Lady @cornmaes Replying justinboldaji 4th grade teacher called front class tell no one going want marry because so annoying being bullied hard- core and she didn't believe told her so she tried convince my mom had schizophrenia and hearing shit
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Guy Witnesses Full-On Karen Panic At Olive Garden On Mother's Day

Unfortunately for service industry employees everywhere, Karens have decided not to take any days off during the pandemic. In fact, it seems that they've even ramped up their antics, according to this amusing Twitter thread written by a guy observing the sheer panic taking place at an Olive Garden in Cranberry, Pennsylvania on Mother's Day. Who knew soup, salad, and breadsticks warranted screaming at minimum-wage restaurant employees!

Funny Twitter story about people waiting in line on Mother's Day at Olive Garden | Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU am about witness full on riot at Cranberry, Pennsylvania Olive Garden. Suburban Karens with husbands who are CFOs mid-size floor tile companies vs staff, which is 90-120 minutes behind order time. Will report back.
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Hilarious Twitter Thread Details A Totally Insane Christian Action Movie

Strap in folks, cause you're in for a wild ride. PhD candidate Laura Robinson took to Twitter to detail a totally ridiculous movie she watched with her husband. The movie, entitled Assassin 33 AD, has pretty much everything including time travel, machine guns, and a frat house in heaven. 

And the best part of this movie is that it isn't ironic at all. You can watch the trailer here if  you dare - it's really...something. But if you'd rather have a text rundown of the whole movie then scroll down. Godspeed.

Funny Twitter thread about a Christian movie called "Assassin 33 AD" | Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn There is deadly serious Christian action movie about Muslims who invent time travel so they can go back time and kill Jesus so he can't die our sins and course my husband bought because he's an actual monster.
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Twitter Thread Tells The Story Of A Muslim Key-Keeper At A Holy Site In Jerusalem

For the first time since the Black Death in 1349, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem was closed amid coronavirus fears. Journalist David Videcette took to Twitter to tell the story of the Muslim family that has guarded the keys to the church since the seventh century. 

Scroll down for your history lesson for the day, but if you're craving more educational content, click here for some history memes!

Interesting Twitter thread about the person who holds the keys to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem | David Videcette @DavidVidecette This is the moment The Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem was closed due to Coronavirus. Last time this happened was in 1349, during The Black Death, a bubonic plague pandemic. What’s fascinating about this story is the guy with the keys.
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Woman Plays Wholesome Game With Her Dad In This Amusing Twitter Story

Every family does weird stuff; it's just a fact of life. Actor and writer Bridie Connell shared an adorable, yet nonsensical game that she and her dad have been playing for 15 years called "pinch and a punch, first day of the month." Neither of them have any idea how it started, but it's cute and amusing nonetheless!

Funny Twitter story about a dad and daughter playing a funny wholesome game | Bridie Connell O @BridieKConnell 16h Right. So my dad and are both very competitive/stubborn have been locked battle pinch and punch, first day month years. 15 years be exact. Neither us remember started.
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