tweets

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funny tweet about steve carrell at an auction | LMAO my parents were at a charity auction last night and one of the items was dinner for 10 with Steve Carrell. Steve Carrell showed up undercover and outbid everyone with $31,000. Now some charity gets 31K and Steve Carrell doesn't have to hang out with strangers. win win.

King Shit

funny tweets, relatable tweets, twitter memes, jokes, comedy, self-deprecating, married life, marriage tweets | SMadimoiselle @drivingmemadi my boyfriend and go Taco Bell do want ask him baja blast? no. he gets down on one knee want something will baja last. will marry they ring taco bell live happily ever after mas. | Pessimus Prime @BigJDubz Picasso dn but joke got about 's messed Translate Tweet 8:05 AM 2020-08-14 Twitter Android 197 Retweets and comments 737 Likes

Excellent Tweets For Quality Procrastination

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Holden @holdenberry • 9h Is my life a joke to you rudy betrayed @rudy_betrayed • I Ih what if your first name was holden and your last name was berries and you'd be like "i'm holden berries" and everyone would think you're holding berries lmaoooo 0 37 2.2K 19.8K

F

Funny tweet about staying up late as revenge | Daphne K. Lee is out of office O @daphnekylee Learned a very relatable term today: (revenge procrastination), a phenomenon in which people who don't have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.

If it ain't me

Funny tweet about how companies arent going to do anything for pride since there are no celebrations because of coronavirus | Lumberzack @ltsLumberzack corporations learning there won't be any pride festivals this year: schmox @IvoryGazeIIe 10/5/17 see you in hell you stupid fruit

They're Fake As Hell

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Twitter reactions to Adele's weight loss

Adele Reveals Dramatic Weight Loss And Obviously Every Twitter User Has A Take

Funny random memes, corona-free memes | This is scale will be using everything now on. Boasting guest verse Dr. Dre classic '90s R&B hit features Blackstreet singing like way work B: Hardly Any Diggity D: An Overwhelming Surplus Diggity No Diggity C: Fair Amount Diggity | viking @notviking are kids texting about soup? LOL lots lentils LMAO love an onion! SMH so much horseradish GTG get gazpacho WTF where's french onion STFU soup's ultimate food TBH broth's hot

Memes With No Mention Of The Scary Stuff That's Happening

Funny meme about how not everyone will write shakespeare-esque material while under quarantine for covid-19 coronavirus, rob schneider wrote hot chicks while in quarantine for sars

Reality Check

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Funny tweet about peoples texting styles, when you're serious and when you're excited | two types of person: when you're serious when you're excited

True

Funny meme about miley cyrus, id, bouncer, club

LOL

Funny twitter pun in response to a mom complaining that her kid lost a cello, the joke is that she is resorting to violins, violence, funny tweets

Slow Clap

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Funny hashtag game on Twitter, tweets, funny tweets, #startanargumentin4words

The #StartAnArgumentIn4Words Game Is Riling Twitter Up With Unpopular Opinions

Funny parody of bot-written Game Of Thrones episode, keaton patti, hbo.

'Bot-Written' Game of Thrones Episode Is Actually A Genius Parody

Funny tweet about trying to finish homework while the teacher is collecting it.

It's A Race Against Time

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Funny tweets about the male equivalent of astrology, the society dude, joe rogan, libertarians, economics, astrology signs, zodiac signs

Tweet Spawns Hilarious Debate Over The 'Male Equivalent' Of Astrology

Funny tweets making fun of things dad love to say.

23 Dad-Isms Culled From The Brains Of Twitter

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Boss constantly schedules 18-year-old high school student for 10 AM weekday shifts: 'They scheduled me on my Prom night, which I crossed off my availability last month.'

Boss constantly schedules 18-year-old high school student for 10 AM weekday shifts: 'They scheduled me on my Prom night, which I crossed off my availability last month.'

34-year-old sibling refuses to give money to family of 35 people after all 7 sisters and brothers demand financial help: ‘My salary will not make a dent in all their needs’

34-year-old sibling refuses to give money to family of 35 people after all 7 sisters and brothers demand financial help: ‘My salary will not make a dent in all their needs’

Boss writes employee up for being 2 minutes late, even though she stays late at work every day: 'I never get paid overtime for it.'

Boss writes employee up for being 2 minutes late, even though she stays late at work every day: 'I never get paid overtime for it.'

18-year-old refuses to invite her dad to her graduation because he moved 20 hours away when she was 5, and prioritized his stepdaughter her whole childhood: 'He should just go back to acting like I'm not his daughter.'

18-year-old refuses to invite her dad to her graduation because he moved 20 hours away when she was 5, and prioritized his stepdaughter her whole childhood: 'He should just go back to acting like I'm not his daughter.'

Boss tries to keep former employee on as a contractor for 10hrs/week with slashed pay, doesn't understand why employee is offended

Boss tries to keep former employee on as a contractor for 10hrs/week with slashed pay, doesn't understand why employee is offended

25-year-old consultant proposes managers should be no older than 37-years-old, and partners should be no more than 50-years-old: 'I’ve noticed a significant drop in the energy required to keep up.'

25-year-old consultant proposes managers should be no older than 37-years-old, and partners should be no more than 50-years-old: 'I’ve noticed a significant drop in the energy required to keep up.'

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