socially awkward
Chitchat makes me wilt
This is the 33rd weekend in a row that you've told your friends that you're "sick"
I have my therapist on speed dial, a roll of cookie dough in the fridge, and a lifetime of memories to cringe about
Gettin' real tired of running with the pack
I was born to be a hermit
Why do I ever leave my house?
Why can I quote every movie I've ever seen, but I forget someone's name the second they tell me?
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm going back to bed to stay away from you
It's just me, myself, and dog
So how long do you mentally prepare in order to leave the house and deal with people?... 24 hours? Cool me too.
And for my next trick, I'll be breaking my own heart by exaggerating my place in other people's lives
All my friends are plants.
Not me spending 2 months recharging my social battery after one Friday night out...
When I say "I'm busy", I mean that I'm 8 episodes deep into my new show and I would rather hang out with them than any real human people.
One day you'll wake up and realize that as an adult, you can just choose to stay home if you don't feel like going out
I have plans with my couch, a loaf of garlic bread, and Wednesday Addams on Netflix
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