Decades ago, the more optimistic futurists probably thought that we'd eventually be living on space settlements in a scarcity-free utopia where robots do all the work for us and no one wants for anything. Few predicted that the future would look more like accepting “terms and conditions” before ordering a cheeseburger at the drive-thru, or internet-connected “ smart ” license plates that require a paid subscription in order to function properly. Yup, the future is now, and it's dumber than ever…

“Don’t get married… or move your coffee machine”

"What does that even mean?"

As if flying wasn't already a pain.