Sappy relationship posts are some of the more nauseating things you come across on the web. These relentlessly sarcastic (and often f*cked up) parody posts are the perfect way to wash your eyes of that corny crap.
sexy times
Remember baseball sex metaphors? How in High School Jessica H. was so cool because she went to THIRD base with CHAD? Well, the metaphors are getting a very funny revamp over on Twitter. It would seem people think the current "base system" is antiquated and a poor reflection of our stages of intimacy. It's 2018 and people have been going straight to what we used to say was a "home run." These tweets answer the question of what comes after our new "first base." They're hilariously telling.
If you're in the middle of a dry spell, you're also in luck. Twitter's new favorite meme is a self-deprecating look at the rollercoasters we experience when we're not getting any action. The tweets are witty, sad, and downright embarrassing all at once. So obviously, we're obsessed.
Daily Star published an article yesterday entitled, "Men Reveal the Three Words They LOVE to Hear During Sex," and of course people on Twitter started making fun of the article by posting their own ridiculous three words.
The internet has revolutionized so much of our lives - drones deliver packages to our houses, we can keep in touch with our loved ones around the world, and with Tinder and other dating apps - we can use terrible, punny pickup lines from the comfort of our homes. Ain't life grand?
