Via god
sexy times
Remember baseball sex metaphors? How in High School Jessica H. was so cool because she went to THIRD base with CHAD? Well, the metaphors are getting a very funny revamp over on Twitter. It would seem people think the current "base system" is antiquated and a poor reflection of our stages of intimacy. It's 2018 and people have been going straight to what we used to say was a "home run." These tweets answer the question of what comes after our new "first base." They're hilariously telling.
If you're in the middle of a dry spell, you're also in luck. Twitter's new favorite meme is a self-deprecating look at the rollercoasters we experience when we're not getting any action. The tweets are witty, sad, and downright embarrassing all at once. So obviously, we're obsessed.
The internet has revolutionized so much of our lives - drones deliver packages to our houses, we can keep in touch with our loved ones around the world, and with Tinder and other dating apps - we can use terrible, punny pickup lines from the comfort of our homes. Ain't life grand?
One night stands are a little like Russian roulette. When they're good, you get all the benefits without any further obligation. But when they're bad...they're really, really bad. These horror stories are a reminder to be careful before flirting with that mysterious stranger. You might get more than you bargained for.
