Few things are certain in this short life. Death is inevitable, and so are taxes. The sun rises in the East and sets in the West. It's also inevitable that at any given moment, former teen heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio is dating a woman that could easily be his daughter. While age gap discourse has become more than a little boring, it seems that Leonardo DiCaprio's dating preferences have not. Just six months ago the Oscar-winning actor was roasted, toasted, and scrutinized for breaking up with…

People who don't go to standup shows think that standup comedy is an incredibly cool art form. These fools believe that only the most hilarious and intelligent people can do standup, and anybody who does it must be a comedic genius. Luckily for them, they are 100% incorrect! Standup comedy shows are breeding grounds for humiliation and failure. Most of the people who do standup are not very good at it. If you ever want a surefire way to feel good about yourself, go to an open mic in a midsized…

Just stay single

Listen, everyone has a dream. Lucky people have passions. But not everyone is lucky enough to do what they love, or even pursue it professionally. So we're stuck doing jobs like writing for a content mill or working as the manager of a f ast food restaurant. The latter happens to be the case for an especially insane redditor, who took to the site (in a now-deleted post) to ask for help from avgeeks and pilots with a very p eculiar relationship problem. The redditor explains that while he works…

He really thought he said something

Not many people will ever find themselves in a position where they can turn down multiple job offers in the search for something better, but vetting a potential employer before taking a job should be something everyone is able to do. And when the job is an especially dangerous one, making sure you're not walking into a shitshow is imperative. This is what redditor u/Fun-Construction-112 didn't quite understand when his engineer girlfriend kept turning down jobs that were offering six figures. H…

I think it's safe to assume that offering legal representation to a member of your family who is divorcing another member of your family is a pretty obvious conflict of interest. That didn't stop u/redpanda891 's brother-in-law, who thought it would be just fine to take her ex-husband as a client. Not only that, but he had the nerve to advise her to stay married to avoid “losing a lot” in the divorce.

Bad Friend 101

We love the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. It's a brilliant place where people can cast judgment on others based on their actions, and while we love every possible outcome, there's something extra satisfying about seeing clueless, entitled jerks taken down a notch by the people of Reddit. You know the type. They share their story expecting to be cleared of any possible wrongdoing, only to find out their shitty behavior has made them a lot of new Internet enemies. We don't see these posts as much as…

Does it have to be this way?

This guy is: Ice. Farking. Cold.

In the words of the popular rock band My Chemical Romance, “I'm nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot okaaaay, I'm not okaaaaaaaay, I'm not o-f*ckin-kay!” Yeah, I might be writing this at the end of a long weekend, but long weekends are just more free time to think about your problems if you're depressed and/or having a total existential crisis . Just kidding. Long weekends are the perfect time to try to ground oneself. While some people may turn to wordy self-help books, therapy sessions (expensiv…

Not all memes are for everyone. Some memes are specifically designed for a beautiful woman that's going through something right now. These memes are not made to encapsulate the whole of all human experiences. That would be too easy. These memes are for women on the verge. On the verge of what? Just on the verge. If you get it, you get it. So much online content is made by men about women, and therefore, women are only shown themselves as men see us. That's no good, because the way that men see…

Roommates from hell.

These can be suspicious

The waiting game gone wrong