All you need is ambition, work ethic...and rich parents

It recently came to my attention that if I was left to my own devices, I might end up rotting in my bedroom and never leaving my apartment. That's because it's so easy to waste my own time scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I t's not the most healthy situation. See, I end up putting off important things like laundry or showering, all because I get sucked into the social media hole. I end up cobbling together terrible outfits from whatever is clean, and having to take a little “…

Having a little bit of fun or wasting our time on the internet might seem like a simple feat for most internet enthusiasts, but it is actually a lot more complicated than one might believe. Boredom has a way of eroding our abilities to pursue intelligent activities, pastimes, and/or hobbies. It doesn't help that our attention spans have all but been reduced to nada. It is actually quite depressing - it's impossible for me to make it through a forty-minute television episode without feeling ants…

It seems as though an increasing number of adults in the United States are recognizing that their struggles with focus, task completion, and interpersonal interactions may have been caused by ADHD . Everyone gets sidetracked occasionally, especially when the internet relentlessly attacks your attention span, but attention deficit and hyperactivity can be totally crippling on a completely different level. It's definitely made me feel like a worse conversationalist and a less productive human. An…

Sorry not sorry, still love you thooooo

Peep, Barbie, Kirby, you name it!

Millennials . When we're not busy ruining the economy with our decadent avocado toast and otherwise utilitarian consumer behavior, we're tending to our 5k-follower shitpost accounts, wondering where we went wrong in life. Is this really all there is? The millennial thinks to herself as she stands in line at the local overpriced café. She consults her bank app as if it were a crystal ball, providing guidance on whether or not to go for that extra pastry. Then she goes off to her second freelance…

Let it all out

Twitter is a place where online culture is created. That can be said of any number of social media sites, but Twitter is one that transcends the website and enters popular culture. Have you ever watched a movie and thought, “This sounds like it was written by a robot whose only exposure to humans is through Twitter discourse.” I had that exact thought while watching the 2022 movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies , and I'm not the only one. Occasionally, tweets become so iconic that nobody ever forgets w…

I'm not feeling so hot. It's hard to pinpoint one reason for this ennui. But a quote from a wise hobbit man comes to mind when I think about my current state: "I’m old, Gandalf. I know I don’t look it but I’m beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin… sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don’t expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to." Yeah, it's a sad day when I'm quoting the fictional character Bilbo Baggins in relati…

Summer days drifting away...

It feels kind of wrong to be bored on a beautiful day. But sometimes, the odds are stacked against you. Lately, at least here in beautiful New York City, allergy season is in full swing. This means that people are sneezing, tearing up, coughing, and feeling completely miserable wherever they go. I've personally been responsible for a cacophony of sniffles, sneezes, and nose-blowing in my open office plan, and lemme tell ya: I do not feel good about it. The fear of sneezing on a stranger, leakin…

Congratulations Internet users and abusers. You've made it through the weekend and are enjoying a Monday. While the best servers and bartenders have today off, us desk jockeys are left to gather up our last shreds of dignity and march our way into work, whether physically or mentally ( people who work from home ). To lessen my weekly pain, I, personally start Monday's work on Sunday. It's like microdosing misery, the kind of misery that leads to your own burnout and your boss' benefit. Easing m…

It's long been said that variety is the spice of life. If the sentiment is to believed, then the things we call memes are a spice level 5, like they refuse to serve me at the Thai restaurant. You see, if it exists, there are memes about it. We've covered everything from knitting memes to forklift operator memes , and those two incredibly specific subjects are teeny drops in a Texas-sized, meme-filled bucket. The memes we love are as varied as the people who make them, and if we start thinking a…

Like it or not, social media addiction is a 100% real affliction. And boy, are we afflicted. At the start of each day, I have dreams. Goals. Hopes. Wants. For example, I've been staring at Fernando Pessoa's The Book of Disquiet for months now. It's collecting dust on my bedside table, and yesterday I promised myself I would read at least a few of the poems. By the time I finished my work for the day, I was too brain-dead to even turn a page. That's where social media came in. Instead of reading…

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