real life

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By Reid
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ADOPTION You're probably better off never knowing who your real parents are.

By Unknown
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Stop Tumbling for a second Mr. Gen-Y, 'cause it's time for a friendly PSA! But only friendly enough so that your feelings won't get hurt.

We know all of those participation awards you won in elementary school have given you the false sense that you can do and be anything you want, but chances are you can't! And you won't!

Millions of twenty-somethings are fresh-faced out of college and feel a deep desire to become the next Oscar-winning, multi-platinum, Nobel Prize-winning CEO of Everything Ever. But, contrary to that one study you read a few weeks ago, not thinking about your student loans won't in fact cause them to disappear! Shocking!

No one realizes this more than the baby boomers. But they never released their dream debut album because they had things like:

  • Job security!
  • Affordable education!
  • The constant threat of nuclear war!
  • Authoritarian parents!
  • A functioning economy!
  • And optimism tempered with a healthy dose of realism!

But no one actually NEEDS those things to succeed in life, right? Beating 3 level 9 Kirby's with no handicap in Super Smash Bros. is hard, but it ain't impossible! RIGHT?

Let us say this in 140 characters or less so you'll understand: don't follow your dreams, because your job is supposed to suck!