Zzzzzz

All kinds

Sweet Dreams

Hey, I'm talking to you. Yeah, you, smarty pants. I saw you across the bar, and I couldn't help but notice that your aura oozes intelligence. I am also an individual of the smart experience so I can easily perceive things like this. Let me guess, when you were in elementary school, you were often lauded as “above average.” Hey, so was I! Wasn't it so great being better than all of those average normie normal people? Those were the days. My senses are also telling me that as you've grown older,…

Chicken soup for the posters soul

Mmm

It ain't much

Having a sense of humor is an invaluable quality. You don't have to be a brilliant standup comedian to know that! Comedy is highly beneficial if you're weak in other social skills. How many times have you heard the story of the class clown who was able to gain the respect of their fellow students through their sense of humor? I was 100% that kid when I was in high school. I took this John Waters quote extremely literally when I was a teen, and in some ways, I still do! "Anytime you make someone…

Not everyone can be a 10. However, most people aren't a two either. This reality has caused the bell curve of the population to be labeled a most upsetting term: "mid." Getting called “mid” by a middle school boy in your TikTok comments is rough. It feels like someone is calling you ugly, even though that's technically not what they're saying. Not only are there thousands of mid-people in the world, but there are also thousands of mid-memes. Do you ever see some memes that are just, fine? They'…

I'm a Goofy Goober , yeah! You're a Goofy Goober, yeah! We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah! Goofy goofy, goober goober, yeah! If you've never wanted to go to the Nut Bar from The Spongebob Squarepants Movie and get yourself one of those sundaes with faces, I don't get you. That iconic 2004 movie was the perfect case study for why being a goofy goober is better than being a Squidward. Goofy gooberism was the force that allowed Spongebob and Patrick to ultimately defeat Plankton and his mind-controlli…

Between us

Spoiler alert: it's not right now. For the past couple of years, we've felt like the end of the world as we know it was always right around the corner. Things kept getting worse, and not to sound too optimistic, but things have generally been improving since 2020. I really don't think we can or will have a worse year than that anytime soon. Even though the end times aren't right now, I have to wonder when it will be. And, more importantly, will we have memes? During the little moment we had in…

Woah

I don't know about you guys, but I'm literally addicted to being a normal person. Every day (and it does happen that often), I get described as a bonafide normie. It is music to my ears. I can't get enough of it! Being normal is so socially rewarded , and I'm always ready to receive that participation trophy. Most of us are in denial about being normal, and that's okay! We like to believe that when we fall on the bell curve, we fall all the way to the right, but that's not true. We are probably…

You've done it! You've really done it. You have survived another debaucherous, boring, or even - healthy - weekend on planet Earth, and now it's time to return to the of the agonizing responsibility of the Monday through Friday workweek. After sleeping for 11 hours straight last night (I'm not one for the Super Bowl) and my rejuvenating therapy session, it is feeling a little easier to bend over for the man and write silly litle blurbs like this one. This particular collection of memes (and twe…

Time travel media often portrays every choice you make as intrinsically connected to how your future life will go down. Every day, you make a million little choices, and if you don't make one in a particular way, your future self is irrevocably changed. I feel like this is true for very few minor choices you could make, like the first time you hang out with your future best friend or the time you decide not to jaywalk and save yourself from becoming the victim of vehicular manslaughter. I doubt…