He's just like Calvin with the Crisco

Puriteens are at it again

So "fun"

Intending not to have kids has become much more socially acceptable for millennials . It used to be that if you were a person who didn't have kids, you were an old spinster, a nun, or a deeply ashamed closeted person. These days, a much larger chunk of young people are vehemently against bringing another life into this world. This can be for various reasons, from not wanting to financially support another human being to not wanting to push another person through their body. While these reasons…

It's that time of the year when every school has a million events. One day you're chaperoning a field trip for one kid, and the next day you're attending a choir concert for the other. As a kid, I loved the end of the school year for precisely this reason. I loved being busy! In hindsight, I can only imagine how stressful May was for my parents. Field Day was the best day of my young life, but it likely wasn't my mom's favorite day by any means. Not to mention, kids are so wound up by the beaut…

Mind your business

How dare she?

Remember those "May the 4th" jokes today, dads!

These people are nuts

There is no group of people more unfairly scrutinized online than parents. Okay, maybe that's not 100% true, but I am baffled by the comments on nearly every parenting video I see on reels and TikTok. No matter what a parent does, no matter how normal their video is, some weirdos in the comments will pick apart and criticize them for no reason. I know this isn't wholly a problem of the internet. People have been giving parents unsolicited advice since man developed the ability to speak. The iss…

It's true that some people hate kids. I once worked with someone who was so staunchly anti-child it kind of disturbed me. Sure, it can be argued that it's selfish to bring life into this messed up world. But if you look at it another way, it's absolutely optimistic. There's a chance, even if it's a small one, that if you raise your kid right, they could make that same messed up world a better place. Unfortunately, the internet seems to be making that prospect slightly more unrealistic. Nonethel…

One of the most challenging parts of being a parent is the lack of sleep . Kids wear you down to the point of exhaustion and keep you up at night worrying about them. It's an incredibly unfair catch-22 of the human experience. My poor mother has been unable to sleep since I was born, and I wish I hadn't done that to her. I'm a sprite 23-year-old baby, so naturally, I've never had any problem with sleeping. I just know that if and when I pop a child out of my body, I'm going to stay up all night…

A big part of growing up is getting rejected from things. Whether it's a sports team or the top band, teenagers will inevitably be disappointed by rejection throughout their adolescence. My most devastating high-school rejection was from the elite group at my community theatre. I know, I'm really cool. I was in the Junior Varsity of musical theatre for three years before I finally got into the top group. The first two years in this group of self-proclaimed "rejects" were expected, but when I di…

It's difficult to keep the magic of the Easter Bunny alive for your kids. Santa is relatively easy because you can meet a man at a shopping mall that will convincingly portray him. The Tooth Fairy is simple: your kid never sees her unless you mess up or they're a super light sleeper. The Easter Bunny is a hard sell because it's unclear what form he takes. Is he a normal rabbit? Is he one of those scary bunnies in fursuits? Is he a horrifying anthropomorphic half-man, half-rabbit that will haunt…

Best Actress 2024 is a cinch

What's the matter with kids these days? Why can't they be like we were: perfect in every way? Every generation has gripes with “kids these days.” These days, kids are more rebellious and less hardworking than kids used to be! If you're not a member of Gen Z or Generation Alpha, this thought might have crossed your mind. If you're a millennial parent, you might be “kids these days” curious, and I beg you to resist this urge! Don't you remember when adults criticized you for liking 98 Degrees