One of the most popular stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric person alive. They smugly remark on how different the world looks now that they've got kids, implying that they've got something far more important in their lives than anything a childless person could be doing. Although I understand how annoying this can be for those of us on the receiving end of this smug, I kind of get it. I cannot imagi…

Boy moms have been rightfully roasted on social media recently. I'm not talking about just any woman who has solely mothered boys. I'm talking about the Oedipal nightmare of TikToker moms who openly admit they are in love with their sons. I have seen the same variation of "watching your son grow up is like experiencing the longest breakup ever" repeatedly on the stupid clock app. Why are these women telling on themselves like this? Why are so many boy moms in love with their sons? That guy Soph…

Valentine's Day brings many unique challenges to parents, depending on how old their kids are. If you have elementary school-aged kids, you've probably had to go to the store and buy way too many Valentine's Day cards for your kid's classmates. It's fun for the kids, but buying and assembling these cards can be a pain. If you've got some moody middle schoolers , you might be dealing with some candy-gram-related drama. Once you age out of classroom Valentine's Day parties, kids start to send eac…

We should all know less about each other. This mantra has popped up on Twitter recently, often in response to people sharing graphic personal details online, particularly on TikTok. With the advent of social media, we have become conditioned to share so much of our lives with strangers. We're not just showing the shiny and cool parts of our lives with strangers: we're sharing everything! We post a picture every day because an app told us to “be real.” We share our traumas on TikTok because thos…

Parents love to document every milestone their kid reaches. A child's first steps, first word, and first day of school are all recorded carefully by their mom and dad so they can relive that memory for years to come. However, the most memorable moments of a kid's life usually happen when the cameras aren't around. When I was a kid, I wore my parents down so much one night by asking them endless questions about the biology of conjoined twins. Obviously, they didn't have extensive knowledge of th…

Isn't it wild that so many popular ideas about parenting came from one dude? I'm talking, of course, about Dr. Spock. No, no Dr. Spock from Star Trek, but the Dr. Spock who wrote the most influential book about parenting of the 20th century. The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care revolutionized child care in the 1940s and 1950s and taught parents to see their children as individuals, all with their own individual needs. Before Spock, parenting books told parents to do everything on a rigi…

I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret; I am not a parent. Despite this, my friends always tell me that they think I'd be a good mom . What does that say about me? I have no idea. My first theory is that I would be a good mom because I have incredible vibes, and I will pass those good vibes down through my bloodline. Hopefully, my good vibes won't skip a generation! Perhaps I would be one of those strict, no-nonsense parents that can't stop bragging about how their 3-year-old has never…

Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. I have little qualification to speak on this: I am not a parent, and who knows what the future of parenthood will look like for me. But I hope that…

Little kids are so funny. Based on my highly biased calculations, the average kid is 10x more comical than the average adult. Kids are blessed with the gift of comedy for multiple reasons. For one, they are given the freedom to be silly. Unfortunately for us adults, there are not a lot of opportunities to be goofballs in corporate America. If you're not silly at work, you have less time to be silly at home, which cuts down your daily silliness quota by at least 60%. Kids also aren't yet experts…

There are good days and there are bad days. But the magic of being a human is that the simplest moments of joy can instantly transform the worst day into the best one. Just the other day I woke up emotionally feeling like a pile of garbage. It was one of those days where nothing went right—I locked myself out of my apartment and couldn't pay for a locksmith because earlier that morning, my bank called me letting me know that they'd noticed some fraudulent activity and had to freeze my account.…

Happy New Year, Parents! I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. I know this wish is a tad unrealistic, but a girl can dream! The good thing about this time of the year is that kids are finally returning to school. The two weeks of holiday preparation, constant cleaning, and providing around-the-clock entertainment fo…

Howdy, and hey, parents! I hope you're having a good post-holidays week with your kids. I'm sure there's lots of playing with toys and hanging around going on, which sounds splendid. Luckily for y'all, the difficult part of the holidays is over! Now, all you have to do is put up with your kids for the next week or so before they head back to school. Piece of cake , right? Even if your holidays didn't go exactly how you planned, they could always go worse. You could be that mom who filmed her to…

It's that time of the year…the kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild . I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to sp…

As far as I can remember, I was a pretty easy kid to parent. All I wanted to do was to do good by the adults in my life, which, shockingly, doesn't make me the most rebellious kid. There are always exceptions to the “easy child” rule, and mine was during Christmastime of my 4th-grade year. I was hearing some rumblings at school about the realness of certain Christmas icons. I felt so angry at these rumors that I went to my dad several times and said, “everyone at school says Santa isn't real, b…

If you don't have a list on your phone with potential baby names for your future children, what are you even doing? At press time, I am kind of ambivalent about whether I want to have kids, but so help me God, if I come upon a child, I have the perfect name waiting in the woodwork. Having baby names with no intention of having children is kind of like wanting to get married because you want to throw a party. It's all of the fun with none of the hassle. Anyone who has actually raised a child kno…

Happy Thanksgiving, parents! Today might not be the most leisurely parenting day of the year, but I believe you all will get through it. You're about to enter prime “threatening your kids with Santa” season, and I support you all the way. Nothing will whip a kid into shape better than their fear of the naughty list.