Just why

Do y'all remember when the concept of bacon was the biggest meme in the world? 2012 was truly a time to be alive: A time when memes were so simple that a popular food could dominate the landscape of popular memes for over a year. Now don't get me wrong, I like bacon. It's the only meat that I would miss if I followed the dietary restrictions put forth by the Old Testament. That being said, even as a meme-obsessed teen, I found the bacon thing to be a bit much. The bacon meme extended far beyond…

Choosing the right ingredients for a sandwich is essential, and even when you do everything right, your sandwich can still end up gross. I've made many questionable sandwich-topping choices throughout my life, and I'm at peace with that. I spent at least a calendar year ordering burgers with only pickles and onions on them; I can only imagine what my breath smelled like during that year. I also regularly got black olives on my sandwich when I went to Subway, and let's just say I wouldn't make t…

The raw organs are a lie

King

Imitation meat can really get you down. I enjoy a good veggie or black bean burger every once and a while, but a large part of that is because veggie burgers know what they are. They know they aren't meat, and they aren't pretending to be meat. The same cannot be said for imitation meat company Beyond Meat . They know they are phonies in more ways than one. While leaving the Arkansas Razorbacks stadium, top Beyond Meat Executive Doug Ramsey got into a fight with a Subaru driver. The fight culmi…

Vegan protesters are known for having a flair for the dramatic. Throwing red paint on your enemies might not convince people to get on your side, but it will certainly catch your attention. Many vegan activists have been criticized for their one-dimensional and erratic views on other people's diets. How vegans protest seems specially designed to make others angry. They see no gray area for why someone might not be able to have a plant-based diet. Many vegans are foolish enough to think that veg…

The 1950s was the golden age of the Jell-O mold . Homemakers regularly put their leftover fruits, vegetables, and even cheeses into a monstrosity of gelatin. This culinary trend sparks a lot of unanswered questions. What secrets were they hiding in there? Who decided this was a good idea? Was Jell-O the symbol of the repressed female rage that lived inside every 1950s housewife? Throughout the past few decades, foods have gotten even crazier than lime Jell-O with cottage cheese. With newfangled…

Since the release of Minions: The Rise of Gru the titular yellow monsters have been on our minds more than usual. Minions have a deep and exciting culture explored throughout the Despicable Me and Minion Movie franchises. Minions are largely unrecognizable from any other earthly animal, which brings up a question that is both hilarious and macabre: could a person eat a minion? Now, this is not a new question. For years, people have been curious about the ethics and practicalities of gobbling up…

You read that right.

We feel for him.