lies

If you go literally anywhere on the internet, you're guaranteed to come across bullshit, fake news, and straight up liars. Some very online people just can't help themselves and lie about the weirdest stuff. Why do they do it? Does it give them satisfaction to get away with lying to  strangers on the internet? Or are they just trying to get the world record for Reddit upvotes? Whatever it is, it's pretty gratifying to see liars get publicly called out in forums like r/quityourbullshit. We've got some pretty cringey and amusing examples of times deceivers got what they deserved. 

We've got to hand it to these people. While we've been struggling with writer's block, trying to cover the dumb shit that happens on the internet in a simple, yet reasonably thoughtful way, there are clearly plenty creative writers having an easy go of it. But don't let their details or specificity fool you - these people are masterminds of fiction. 

Though most of us would like to consume approach the world with less skepticism, the more time we spend on the internet the harder it gets. On Twitter there are hordes of parents fabricating stories about how their 2 year old is an emotional or intellectual savant. Anti-maskers celebrate highly dubious acts of rebellion. Influencers claim that women fall at their feet. Some of them are straight up seeking attention, or some validation to fill some kind of void in their souls. Others have more of an agenda. But they've all got one thing in common: being incredibly cringeyliars.  And we're here to share some of that cringe with you. 

I remember back in the summer of 1995, I decided to be super spontaneous and hop on a one-way train from Montreal to Seattle so that I could finally see my favorite band in the world—Nirvana. I was only 12 years old, but everyone always thought I was much older due to my exceptionally high IQ score of 200, so I wasn't too worried. The two-week journey was grueling, but luckily I managed to win a hefty chunk of change along the way after beating two large Russian men at several rounds of poker (those Canadian trains can get pretty wild). When I finally got to the venue entrance just as the opening band (who happened to be Radiohead) began playing, the door guy narrowed his eyes at me and asked 'wait just a minute there, where's your ticket and ID?' I took the wad of poker winnings from my pocket and slammed it on the table. 'Sold out' the door guy said, smirking at me smugly. I totally was heartbroken. I racked my genius brain for a solution, but nothing came. Just when I was about to give up, someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. I turned around and almost screamed at the sight of Kurt Cobain himself, standing there like a guardian angel. In one swift move, he grabbed the cash, handed it back to me, and gestured for me to follow him through the entrance. On our way through he looked at the door guy and said 'you're fired, dude.' I got to watch Nirvana from the VIP area and then I spent the rest of the night hanging out with the whole band backstage and they laughed at all my jokes. It was the best night of my life.

There are three kinds of liars on the internet. Those who spread fake news, con-artists who try to scam others, and those who make up laughably fake stories for no good reason. It's relatively easy to lie online, especially with the whole internet and its wealth of resources at your disposal. But some people are very, very bad at bullsh*tting. In the age of 'reverse image search', that stolen image some redditor is trying to pawn off as their own is just one click away from being exposed by internet detectives. And these days it's just as easy to google something as it is to lie, so if you're going to post a lengthy tall tale about your non-existent memories of hanging out with Nirvana, perhaps you should fact-check your own lies first. That way, at the very least it might be an entertaining story.

We've got some amusing and pretty satisfying instances of liars getting called out for their BS on the internet. But it really makes you think—Seeing as we pulled these screenshots from the internet, who's to say that the lies aren't also lies? Anyone could photoshop a fake callout of a fake lie someone told and post it to r/QuitYourBullshit for karma. What if we're all just caught in an inception of internet lies? What if we're actually in the matrix and I'm not even typing this right now? Anyway...here's some content.

Not everyone is all about April Fools shenanigans, and many on Twitter are getting their yucks in now before they get yucked tomorrow. Remember when we were kids and April Fools was about giving your friends cookies made with salt instead of sugar? Boy, the looks on their faces. On the internet, April Fools 'pranks' are really just people lying to each other and the occasional fake announcement made by a popular brand. What will April 1st bring this year? We'll have to wait to find out, but until then, Twitter is cracking sarcastic jokes in anticipation of all the deceit and trickery. 

Warning: don't browse through these memes and pics if you don't want your perceptions about life to be completely turned upside-down.

This dank meme plays on the classic trope of the girlfriend who "goes to another school," or "lives in Canada." We all had that friend in middle school who desperately wanted to feel cooler than they actually were, and in a way we don't really blame them - middle school is rough as hell.

For some reason, the meme-iverse is totally obsessed with clowns right, and to be honest we're absolutely loving this particular trending clown meme, known as "Putting On Clown Makeup." 

The meme stems from a 2015 YouTube video instructing viewers how to apply clown makeup in five steps and of course, memers took advantage of the opportunity to make fun of people who make utter fools of themselves.

These pics range from mildly disappointing to downright infuriating. We've all been in that situation where we open the bag of potato chips and it ends up being only one-third full - these pics play off of that feeling that we all know and loathe. 

When it comes down to it, life is all a lie and you should just never trust anyone.

Twitter user Mike Mulloy had the right idea when he called out Jacob Obers on Twitter for claiming that he and his girlfriend bought a house at age 19. First of all, who the hell even buys property anymore? And secondly, we're willing to bet that neither of these doofus kids have ever even had jobs before. Next!