Signed with an X

I've watched enough gender reveal party videos to know that some parents are super particular about the sex of their baby. This desire for a boy or a girl doesn't always come from a nefarious place. Sometimes you build up an idea in your head about who your baby is going to be, and when the biological forces at be don't conform to that expectation, you're a little upset. There's truly nothing wrong with that. However, if you act angry or indignant towards your partner because you didn't get the…

If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck that way

One of the lamest things about working is the inequality of it all. Somebody can have the exact same job as you, work as hard as you, and have comparable experience to you and still get paid more for some reason. It might be because they were hired a few months later or because they made a better first impression in the job interview . No matter what the reason, it's a sucky part of working. There are a few things you can do when you find out your coworker makes more money than you. You can tal…

There's only so much you can do to get a job when your resume is not up to par. You can change the verbiage you use to describe your job-hopping as much as you'd like, but employers are just going to see the same thing: an unreliable person who can't be trusted to stay at their company for longer than a year. In this economy, it makes sense why someone would be a job hopper . Loyalty to a position or a company is rarely rewarded with more money, and sending out hundreds of applications and gett…

Despite our negative outlook and potent pessimism, there are actually things that we enjoy in this world. There's raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens. We're into bright copper kettles and warm, woolen mittens. We can really get behind brown paper packages tied up with string. But most of all, we love watching lying pieces of sh!t get called out for their bullshit. We love it when it happens to scummy lowlifes trying to trash local businesses (it's usually the owner of a competitor) as m…

Urban legends have been around since, well, time immemorial. They spread like wildfire, and are somehow accepted as fact by multiple generations. While fascinating (and sometimes even completely silly), many urban legends are firmly rooted in fallacy. We're not talking about the small-town rumors of high school heroes. We're talking widely accepted and distributed tales that are simply not true. Recently, a curious soul took to Reddit's r/AskReddit community and asked its members "What urban le…

Did you still believe this?

Embarrassing

Totally believable

Kids believe the dumbest things

Don't lie to your doctor!

If you go literally anywhere on the world wide web of dreams, you're almost guaranteed to stumle upon copious amounts of total bullshit , fake news, and bald-faced liars. It seems that many extremely online people simply can't help themselves and lie about the weirdest, most unnecessary stuff. Why do they do it? Does it give them satisfaction to get away with lying to faceless strangers on the internet? Or are they just trying to get the world record for Reddit upvotes by karma farming? Whateve…

FFS

I discovered sarcasm at an early age. I vividly recall discussing the definition of the word with a fellow second grader, and we determined that sarcasm was “saying something nice in a mean way.” We were pretty on the money, but Merriam-Webster describes it as follows: Sarcasm refers to the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say, especially in order to insult someone, or to show irritation, or just to be funny. Not everybody gets sarcasm. When you have a Saharan dese…

Lying is bad. At least that's what they tell you from a young age. But as controversial as it may sound, sometimes lies are necessary - even from the people who are supposed to teach kids right from wrong. You see, parenting is difficult. You've got these annoying critters hanging around 24/7, and they always seem to want things that are either bad for them or prevent you from having a good time. The thing is, they've got some pretty malleable brains. They're still learning about how the world…