internet

Ever look around and get the sense that we're living in some sort of techno-dystopia? We get it—sometimes it's cool to have lights that you can dim from your phone or a watch that tells you how many calories you burned, but maybe the 'Internet of Things' has gone too damn far. Once you start connecting every single object in your home to the internet, you become pretty vulnerable when, say, Google is suddenly down, or your WiFi router malfunctions. Sometimes a doorbell should just be a doorbell and a toothbrush certainly shouldn't require regular firmware updates. And who the hell actually wants an Amazon surveillance robot literally flying around their house 24/7?

Anyway, we've got a bunch of examples of bad 'smart devices' from Twitter that might make you reconsider that bluetooth coffee mug purchase. 

If you're bored of relatable memes and fluffy wholesomeness, this cringe-packed wince-inducing batch of memes will be seriously refreshing. Instead of thinking about how wonderfully alike we all are, why don't we focus on the people who are f*cked up and all the terrible things that exist on the internet and IRL. 

r/masterhacker is a treasure trove of cringey and hilarious examples of wannabe hackers trying their best to intimidate people online with empty threats, seeking advice that betrays their naivety, and straight up asking people for their IP addresses so they can hack them. We've got a bunch of amusing screenshots and memes about the sort of person who whispers 'I'm in' to themselves after using a Windows command prompt to identify an IP address. Be sure to check out r/masterhacker for more of this content.

Everyone's favorite crowdsourced web encyclopedia has been reimagined by the clever minds behind @tldrwikipedia, who took the familiar aesthetic of Wikipedia and turned it into a brilliant meme format for joke-telling. The memes come across as if someone really lazy, sardonic, and maybe a little drunk had written all the entires for Wikipedia. We've collected some of our favorite memes from the @tldrwikipedia account, but be sure to check out their Twitter if you'd like to see more.

I remember back in the summer of 1995, I decided to be super spontaneous and hop on a one-way train from Montreal to Seattle so that I could finally see my favorite band in the world—Nirvana. I was only 12 years old, but everyone always thought I was much older due to my exceptionally high IQ score of 200, so I wasn't too worried. The two-week journey was grueling, but luckily I managed to win a hefty chunk of change along the way after beating two large Russian men at several rounds of poker (those Canadian trains can get pretty wild). When I finally got to the venue entrance just as the opening band (who happened to be Radiohead) began playing, the door guy narrowed his eyes at me and asked 'wait just a minute there, where's your ticket and ID?' I took the wad of poker winnings from my pocket and slammed it on the table. 'Sold out' the door guy said, smirking at me smugly. I totally was heartbroken. I racked my genius brain for a solution, but nothing came. Just when I was about to give up, someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. I turned around and almost screamed at the sight of Kurt Cobain himself, standing there like a guardian angel. In one swift move, he grabbed the cash, handed it back to me, and gestured for me to follow him through the entrance. On our way through he looked at the door guy and said 'you're fired, dude.' I got to watch Nirvana from the VIP area and then I spent the rest of the night hanging out with the whole band backstage and they laughed at all my jokes. It was the best night of my life.

There are three kinds of liars on the internet. Those who spread fake news, con-artists who try to scam others, and those who make up laughably fake stories for no good reason. It's relatively easy to lie online, especially with the whole internet and its wealth of resources at your disposal. But some people are very, very bad at bullsh*tting. In the age of 'reverse image search', that stolen image some redditor is trying to pawn off as their own is just one click away from being exposed by internet detectives. And these days it's just as easy to google something as it is to lie, so if you're going to post a lengthy tall tale about your non-existent memories of hanging out with Nirvana, perhaps you should fact-check your own lies first. That way, at the very least it might be an entertaining story.

We've got some amusing and pretty satisfying instances of liars getting called out for their BS on the internet. But it really makes you think—Seeing as we pulled these screenshots from the internet, who's to say that the lies aren't also lies? Anyone could photoshop a fake callout of a fake lie someone told and post it to r/QuitYourBullshit for karma. What if we're all just caught in an inception of internet lies? What if we're actually in the matrix and I'm not even typing this right now? Anyway...here's some content.

There's something about the anonymity of the internet that allows people to feel completely comfortable lying to other people. Sometimes they lie as a scare tactic, for example, providing bullshit anecdotes to scare people away from vaccines. Some people lie to mine Reddit karma. And then there are the weirdos who simply want attention. Unfortunately for these bullshitters, there are tons of internet users who are just waiting to call them out for their deceptive stories. And we love to see it. 

If you've ever felt disconcerted by the way technology/AI have interfered in our lives, you're not alone. Twitter account @internetofshit is basically dedicated to waking people up to the fact that tech is ruining our lives in the most capitalistic ways possible. Let's all find new ways to do necessary life things and charge people a premium for it. What the heck is the world coming to?

The site Nextdoor.com is meant to help neighbors communicate. It's supposed to help people abreast of sketchy activities, neighborhood events, and foster community. It also provides a hefty amount of comedy, as proved by the rabidly popular @bestofnextdoor Twitter account. It logs some pretty insane neighborly banter - and also helps provide proof of entitled people who need to get a clue. That's pretty much covered in this tale of a Vegan who thinks the world needs to bend over backward because of their chosen diet.

The love of grandparents is a very special type of unconditional. Many times they won't even flinch at something your parents would absolutely freak about. If you're lucky, they would slip you money or feed you dessert for dinner. Even if your grandparents are spoiling you from the afterlife, these posts are sure to bring you back to a simpler time when you were "looking a little skinny" or needed "just one more helping."

Here's an idea: Waste time on the internet by looking at photos of other people wasting time on the internet. That's what Tumblr shitposts are for.