grocery shopping

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Caption that reads, "Me to my crush: I think I have feelings for you; My crush: ..." above a pic of a shopping center sign that says "Big K"

Straight Ouch

Pic of a guy lying on the ground next to a broken bottle of red wine with caption that reads, "This is what you must do if you accidentally drop a bottle of red wine"

It's The Only Thing To Do

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Caption that reads, "Me finding the perfect playlist for my four-minute drive to the grocery store" above a pic of a golden retriever sitting at a computer desk

Bump That Sh*t

Caption that reads, "No one: ...; Fish at the grocery store: ..." above a pic of a guy with a deadpan expression lying in a bathtub full of ice

Who Do They Think They Are

Caption that reads, "When your mom said she'll be back soon but you're next at the cash register" above a pic of a guy sweating and looking nervous

Mom...?

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Caption that reads, "When people ask if I plan on having a kid someday" above a pic of a baby goat in a shopping cart

Hell Yeah I Do

Pic of a short guy, who represents "Some baby in a shopping cart at the store" looking up at a tall woman, who represents, "Me, minding my own business"

So Rude

Pic of Hugh Jackman, who represents "My mom at the grocery store" laughing and joking with Jake Gyllenhaal, who represents "Her friend from high school;" Ryan Reynolds, who represents "me" is awkwardly standing in the back

C'mon MOM

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Tweet that reads, "I love when you're at the grocery store and the veggies are having a shower"

Those Veggies Gettin' So Clean

Caption that reads, "'Would you like to donate $1 to help the poor?' Me: 'Lol there is a 90% chance this card is gonna get declined. I am the poor'" above a stock photo of a cashier taking a card from a customer

Hilarious

Tweet that reads, "Whole Foods cashier: You have your reusable bags? Me: No; *A wave of boos from shoppers;* *A toddler with a hyphenated first name spits on me*"

BOOOOOO

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Caption that reads, "When you look down every grocery store aisle twice and still don't see your mom" above a pic of someone hitting a button that says 'scared'

I Scurred

American Chopper meme about being at a self-checkout and having the machine say that there's an 'unexpected item in the bagging area'

Grocery Stores Need To Get It Together

Tweet that reads, "Little secret about me: my answer to the question 'would you like a receipt' is based on absolutely nothing and changes all the time"

It's True

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Tweet showing a pic of some cooked spinach on a plate, with the caption "This is forty-five bags of spinach"

A Delicious Vegan Meal

Tweet that reads, "Who are we? Single young professionals. What do we want? For perishable groceries to be sold in smaller portion sizes"

FOR REAL

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Mom lets 2 fully grown, employed children move back in rent-free, expects her husband to cover everyone's bills, pushing him to accept a permanent out-of-town work contract and move out

Mom lets 2 fully grown, employed children move back in rent-free, expects her husband to cover everyone's bills, pushing him to accept a permanent out-of-town work contract and move out

Vice Principal takes a student's cell phone, loses it before the school day was over: 'The VP does not have to replace the phone because district policy says they aren't responsible for any lost items.'

Vice Principal takes a student's cell phone, loses it before the school day was over: 'The VP does not have to replace the phone because district policy says they aren't responsible for any lost items.'

34-year-old sibling refuses to give money to family of 35 people after all 7 sisters and brothers demand financial help: ‘My salary will not make a dent in all their needs’

34-year-old sibling refuses to give money to family of 35 people after all 7 sisters and brothers demand financial help: ‘My salary will not make a dent in all their needs’

Stepdad refuses to take 9-year-old stepson to soccer games with his 7-year-old son: 'We root for different teams'

Stepdad refuses to take 9-year-old stepson to soccer games with his 7-year-old son: 'We root for different teams'

Sister with 1-year-old insists on moving in with her brother and his wife, insists they pay the lion's share of the $1800 rent

Sister with 1-year-old insists on moving in with her brother and his wife, insists they pay the lion's share of the $1800 rent

40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week

40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week

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