“Which animal am I” is one of those questions you usually don't want to know the answer to. Either you get an adorable animal like a cat, or you get one that truly makes you confront your reality as a human being. When I was growing up and this question came up, everyone would always say that I was a giraffe. This was not a particularly shocking answer, seeing as I was at least 5'9 by the time I was 12 years old. However, it did get old after a while that people were only seeing me for my tall…

Ribbit

Totally purrfect

Whatever you do, don't be Grizzly Man

I was a fish owner once. In fact, I was a fish owner three times over. Unfortunately, these fish all met the same bitter end at the bottom of the toilet bowl. Each time we got fish, we got two goldfish and named the Cosmo and Wanda. I even had a show-accurate Fairly-Odd Parents-themed fish bowl that they got to live in. Despite our best efforts to give them a good life, all three sets of Cosmo and Wanda died under mysterious circumstances. Those circumstances really boiled down to the fact that…

Dog lovers unite

Kitty humor

Give him a smooch

Meowtiful

I've known several horse girls throughout my life, and I've always been fascinated by their passion for the sport. I'm from Texas, so obviously, horses are kind of a big deal there. It never ceased to amaze me how much horses cost to own and maintain. When you get a dog, you have to pay for the dog and all of its supplies and medical expenses, but at least you can let your dog live in your house. With horses, you've got to find a place where they can live, and unless you live on an actual farm,…

The worst thing about animals is that they can't talk . I know there have been a couple of scientifically studied gorillas and dogs on TikTok who can say words, but that's not the same thing as talking. Humans are the only species that can speak in a grammatically coherent way, and that's a darn shame. I've had several dogs I wish I could talk to because they probably have crazy life stories. My first dog, Toby, had an extremely traumatic life before we got him. When the dog rescue found him, h…

A bunch of jerky jesters

Feline fine

"Serious goose" doesn't have the same ring to it

Ribbit ribbit

So true