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Twitter Users Imagine Slaying Their Exes With Just 3 Words

Picture this. You've moved on from your crappy ex. Maybe they lied and cheated. Maybe they were emotionally unavailable. Maybe they were a lazy mooch. Whatever the case, you're not friends. Now imagine that you receive a text from this reviled former lover. The text reads "I'm dating someone better than you." Personally, a message like that would probably result in an instant block. But Twitter user @EvaRebeca5 asked her followers to come up with their best 3 word comebacks to the unnecessary (and somewhat hurtful) hypothetical text messages. The responses are both hilarious and spicy, a primo exercise for anyone who has pretend arguments with their shampoo bottles in the shower. Though might not have the guts to put our ex in their place, we have nothing but respect for these people who brought the heat. We've put some of our favorite responses into this gallery, but there's loads more where these came from. 

Twitter thread about you ex texting you to say i am dating someone better than you, people come up with 3 word comebacks for the sentiment
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Drunk Dude Group-Texts His Exes On Christmas, Sparking Hilariously Mad Drama

This dude had some major guts to text all of his exes at once - and on Christmas of all days. Revel in this ridiculous text story that turns into some juicy-ass drama!

funny drunk texts to a guys exes
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x y ex variables homophones why math algebra - 6748572160
By ChBoler
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Punmaster ChBoler says: "I z what you did there."

I know humor is a variable thing, but I simply did not find a single factor of this post funny. - Matty Malaprop

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algebra denial double meaning ex find Hall of Fame homophone literalism variable x y - 6226711552
Via Reddit
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Cheer up, math-friend. Get some Zs tonight and hopefully you'll feel better in the morning! - Matty Malaprop

eww ex fish hilarious lady bits - 5781107456
By Arturik
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THIS reminds me of some parts of my ex