Mark is a lucky guy

Success doesn't always equal smarts

Whatever you say, buddy

Stupid people are dumb

Totally believable

There are a lot of things you have to gauge about a person on a date when you're meeting them for the first time. First of all, are they a murderer? This is a surprisingly difficult question from vibes alone, so in the meantime, you can move on to other important questions. “Am I attracted to them?” “Do we have anything in common?” “Does speaking to them make me want to gauge my eyes out with a metal spoon?” These are classic first-date reflection questions we all have asked ourselves at some p…

We can't tell at this point

Who says that crime can't be funny? There are so many boring arrests made every day that journalists can't help but take notice when an amusing one comes about. There's some guy who, at present, is looking through arrest records to find the hard-hitting story of an extremely wacky guy. And boy howdy, do they find them. Not all news stories with wacky headlines have to do with arrests. There are so many strange daily incidents that are funny, inspiring, or just plain stupid that have nothing to…

It's true: Not everyone can be a brain genius. But despite what Rick and Morty fans might tell you, IQs don't mean much if you don't do anything with them. Take me, for example. My mother made the mistake of telling me my IQ when I was younger (it's the same as Snoop Dogg's, do with that what you will). She had high hopes for me and placed me in gifted programs. Unfortunately, due to my rebellious nature, I ended up dashing her dreams and getting straight Bs throughout my education. Fast forwar…

People who think they're very smart

Serves them right

We all know that one person whose lack of common sense makes you worry for their safety and wonder how they've made so far in life. I once had a roommate in college who called our landlord and complained that the washing machine was broken because the clothes kept coming out wet. Apparently he had never washed his own clothes before and assumed the washer was also a dryer. That same roommate once put his pet goldfish in a giant martini glass full of water, set it on the kitchen counter, and lef…

Just embarrassing

Oy vey.

Face, meet palm.