Stephen Sondheim said the following in his Pulitzer Prize winning musical Sunday in the Park with George. “There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world of ours: children and art.” Of course, this is not an objective fact. You could argue that there are many worthwhile things you leave behind when you die that go beyond those two rigid categories.

Parents love to document every milestone their kid reaches. A child's first steps, first word, and first day of school are all recorded carefully by their mom and dad so they can relive that memory for years to come. However, the most memorable moments of a kid's life usually happen when the cameras aren't around. When I was a kid, I wore my parents down so much one night by asking them endless questions about the biology of conjoined twins. Obviously, they didn't have extensive knowledge of th…

Isn't it wild that so many popular ideas about parenting came from one dude? I'm talking, of course, about Dr. Spock. No, no Dr. Spock from Star Trek, but the Dr. Spock who wrote the most influential book about parenting of the 20th century. The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care revolutionized child care in the 1940s and 1950s and taught parents to see their children as individuals, all with their own individual needs. Before Spock, parenting books told parents to do everything on a rigi…

Little kids are so funny. Based on my highly biased calculations, the average kid is 10x more comical than the average adult. Kids are blessed with the gift of comedy for multiple reasons. For one, they are given the freedom to be silly. Unfortunately for us adults, there are not a lot of opportunities to be goofballs in corporate America. If you're not silly at work, you have less time to be silly at home, which cuts down your daily silliness quota by at least 60%. Kids also aren't yet experts…

Extra baggage is extra expensive.

A guilty pleasure not many of us are ready to admit we have.

“Since he's retired he hasn't had very much engineering to do… so he booby traps the packages…”

Maybe it's the Australian accent

The golden age of parents on Twitter lying about the esoteric things their young children say has long passed us. Back in the ancient time of 2016, parents were obsessed with tweeting things like, "My son came up to me and said ‘Papa, I have a childlike solution to great economic and social problems that will be incredibly easy to go viral through the retweets of easy to trick rubes.’"

Clever answers that are hard to argue with

Hi Hungry, I'm Dad

Truly awful

Do you ever think about how crazy it is that you can just make a person? It is wild that people worldwide can create a human life with nothing more than their body and their time. And a big white bird depending on who you ask. While creating a person can take minimal effort, raising a person is full of chaos, madness, and confusion. Parenthood is a commitment of multiple decades where you get no days off and it can take over your life. One of the most common issues for parents is not having tim…

Some people use psychedelics to open their minds to complicated philosophies. Others use it to make dank memes.

Memes to share with the gang at Nance's potluck

So many puns, so many dumb punchlines… *Healing the world with comedy*