Stephen Sondheim said the following in his Pulitzer Prize winning musical Sunday in the Park with George. “There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world of ours: children and art.” Of course, this is not an objective fact. You could argue that there are many worthwhile things you leave behind when you die that go beyond those two rigid categories.

Valentine's Day brings many unique challenges to parents, depending on how old their kids are. If you have elementary school-aged kids, you've probably had to go to the store and buy way too many Valentine's Day cards for your kid's classmates. It's fun for the kids, but buying and assembling these cards can be a pain. If you've got some moody middle schoolers , you might be dealing with some candy-gram-related drama. Once you age out of classroom Valentine's Day parties, kids start to send eac…

Parents love to document every milestone their kid reaches. A child's first steps, first word, and first day of school are all recorded carefully by their mom and dad so they can relive that memory for years to come. However, the most memorable moments of a kid's life usually happen when the cameras aren't around. When I was a kid, I wore my parents down so much one night by asking them endless questions about the biology of conjoined twins. Obviously, they didn't have extensive knowledge of th…

Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. I have little qualification to speak on this: I am not a parent, and who knows what the future of parenthood will look like for me. But I hope that…

When you name your child Christopher, you must make a critical decision. You have to choose whether you are going to resign him to a life of normalcy with the nickname "Chris" or if you're going to make him a superstar with the nickname "Topher." The choice you make could change the entire trajectory of your child's life. If you've been scrolling through TikTok recently, you've probably seen more memes than you can count starring a little boy named Topher. He rose to TikTok fame after a clip of…

Happy New Year, Parents! I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. I know this wish is a tad unrealistic, but a girl can dream! The good thing about this time of the year is that kids are finally returning to school. The two weeks of holiday preparation, constant cleaning, and providing around-the-clock entertainment fo…

Howdy, and hey, parents! I hope you're having a good post-holidays week with your kids. I'm sure there's lots of playing with toys and hanging around going on, which sounds splendid. Luckily for y'all, the difficult part of the holidays is over! Now, all you have to do is put up with your kids for the next week or so before they head back to school. Piece of cake , right? Even if your holidays didn't go exactly how you planned, they could always go worse. You could be that mom who filmed her to…

One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. They smugly remark on how different the world looks now that they've got kids, implying that they've got something far more important in their lives than anything a childless person could be doing. Although I understand how annoying this can be for those on the receiving end of these takes, I kin…

Sex Education is one of those topics that some people have a challenging time breaching with their kids. My parents were never the kind of people to try to tell me some hogwash about a stork and a baby; They were not in the business of baloney. I don't remember the exact moment when I realized what sex was because it was more of a gradual conversation throughout many years and, therefore, not so shocking to me. The one thing I do remember about our most memorable birds and the bees talk is that…

One of the things that uniquely strikes me about parenthood is the fact that you are wholly responsible for another human being. As it currently childless early 20s something, I can barely take care of myself let alone another living person. The thing that baffles me about parenthood is that you have to buy twice the amount of stuff then you would if you were just by yourself. If you’re going for a nice evening out at the Golden Corral, you have to buy a meal for yourself and for your child. To…

If you've been online at all over the last couple of days, you've probably seen that there's been some controversy surrounding the upcoming live action adaptation of Disney's The Little Mermaid. The casting of singer Halle Bailey has caused a lot of outrage from people who are vehemently against a the inclusion of a Black Ariel in the canon. In response to the racist backlash towards Bailey, many mothers have been recording their children's reaction to the trailer, finding that most of them are…

Watching parents spill details about their kids on social media can make you feel a lot better about your family life. I saw a TikTok this morning where a mom openly admitted she took her able-bodied child on a family vacations without her disabled son. Like, how are you not embarrassed? Why are you openly admitting this horrible thing you did on social media without shame? Parents can share the most alarming things to complete, and if you question it at all, you get accused of “mom shaming.” L…

Parents love to document every milestone their kid reaches. A child's first steps, first word, and the first day of school are all recorded carefully by their mom and dad so they can relive that memory for years to come. However, the most memorable moments of a kid's life usually happen when the cameras aren't around. When I was a kid, I somehow got my parents to give myself and my sister the s*x talk by asking endless questions about the biology of conjoined twins. There might not be a scrapbo…

There's something ethically murky about posting your kids online. What started as parents posting their kids on Facebook to share with friends and relatives has become an uncontrollable monster. Children are not old enough to fully comprehend the possible repercussions of having a digital footprint, especially one out of their control. In an era where family vloggers and parenting TikTokers can make thousands of dollars from plastering their child's face all over the internet, it's worth questi…

A wise woman once told me, “Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby .”

Can we make this into a drinking game for adults?