crazy

Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

Talk about a #TransformationTuesday.

Martyn Ford, a gigantic bodybuilder known as "The Nightmare," started his shocking transformation about 12 years ago. And the Internet is now taking notice.

He went from being an avid runner with four percent body fat, to a 325-pound tattooed monster of a man.

Just LOOK at this guy.

Here's what he told LADBible:

I never really had a goal as such, I just wanted to be bigger. 12 years on I seem to be that for sure, but there's still more to achieve with my physique. The initial transformation I would say took two to three years. You were definitely looking at two different people then for sure.

Ford's goal is to become an actor.

And as big as he is, directors should be weary telling him he didn't get the part.

It was an actual tall midget.

That's who arrested actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi in Canada today. We don't know what they did, but it couldn't be any worse than their previous sexcapades.

Evi did what any sane person would do after the incident—blame Canada.

I hate the sexist pigs and corrupt gov of Canada and renounce the crap citizenship I was given in 2010 pic.twitter.com/ykWJ0pBfxm

— Evi Quaid (@EviQuaid) October 7, 2015

i love that Canada needs to learn how to wake up and criticize its crappy government ps we got arrested by an actual tall midget

— Evi Quaid (@EviQuaid) October 7, 2015

Canadians are brainwashed at birth with Canadian pride that's why people think they are so fucking dumb

— Evi Quaid (@EviQuaid) October 7, 2015

The couple posted this bizarre video right before the arrest where they talk about Hillary Clinton's email scandal, toast to their wedding anniversary and complain about Canada some more.

Wow, Quaids. Just wow.

If you love crazy rants, this one's for you.

"I am Jedi Joey. Do you even question that Kenobi Wan might ???? your p*nis head off? George Lucas might be able to take your Spock ear and shove it up your right cranny!"

DEE SNIDER up yours lady gaga