It ain't worth it

Millennials are killing the normal name industry, or at least so it seems. The weird names young parents give their kids have become bonafide memes at this point. I don't know if we'll ever get to a point where McKinsleigh will be considered a normal name by the majority of the population. At the same time, we felt the same way about the name Britney, and nobody bats an eye at that anymore. My favorite millennial naming convention is giving your baby an old lady's name. I know two babies named…

Fellas, is it gay to love your wife?

There are a lot of things you have to gauge about a person on a date when you're meeting them for the first time. First of all, are they a murderer? This is a surprisingly difficult question from vibes alone, so in the meantime, you can move on to other important questions. “Am I attracted to them?” “Do we have anything in common?” “Does speaking to them make me want to gauge my eyes out with a metal spoon?” These are classic first-date reflection questions we all have asked ourselves at some p…

I have the type of anxiety that makes me worried that I peaked in high school , even though I know I had a horrible time. My high school years had some positive moments, but my life got exponentially better once I graduated and moved far away from anyone I knew. There are some moments from high school I still think about, like my Senior prom , which was almost Carrie -esque in how traumatic it was, but that's a story for another day. Five years out from high school, I'm sitting pretty, knowing…

Kids believe the dumbest things

No more turning a blind eye

I will be honest with you: I have not always been the biggest fan of Reddit. When I was a teenager, I wrote it off as a place where nothing good happens. I thought that Reddit and 4chan had the same user base, and I wanted nothing to do with that kind of person. In college, I learned that Reddit could be an excellent tool for advertising things around campus. I even got in some beef with some dudes on my university subreddit for promoting my comedy group's show Catholic: The Musical.' Some midw…

Anyone who has worked as a waiter knows that people who don't tip are the worst. In the United States, many waiters only get paid $2 hourly and, therefore, only survive on tips. Some restaurants don't even pay their servers an hourly wage. This is basically common knowledge at this point, so for most people, not tipping is simply out of the question. But there are always those people who get angry for the insistence that they tip. I find that these come from two camps. The first camp is Boomers…

A Utah teenager recently went viral on Reddit for posting their schedule for their part-time job . They are expected to work 32 hours a week, including four 6-hour shifts directly after already going to school for 8 hours. I know there are probably a bunch of angry people reading this and thinking, “that's not very much work! If this teen would hike up their bootstraps, they would be able to work these hours and finish their homework with no issues.” In some cases, they might be right. When I w…

At some point in your life, you’ve probably asked yourself, “Oh, yeah. Whatever happened to that thing?” Whether that be random fads like fidget spinners or well-respected establishments such as Fudruckers, you’ve noticed that things just go away sometimes. Today, Redditor /u/musicmaniac247 posed this very question, “What eventually disappeared and no one noticed?” The Askreddit thread quickly blew up, garnering over 15 thousand replies. Whether good, bad, funny, or just kind of depressing, res…

Don't lie to your doctor!

Is it just me, or is the concept of an "unsolved mystery" redundant? A solved mystery is an oxymoron, which is precisely what we're going to get into. One of my favorite recently solved mysteries is the identity of the Zodiac killer. The fact that there was a guy walking around for years who looked so much like the sketches baffles me. My favorite part of this whole ordeal is that one of his friends posted a picture with him on Facebook with the caption “Zodiac?” and nobody even noticed. I know…

As a millennial born in the late 1980's, I had the pleasure of witnessing some major cultural shifts, the most prominent being the advent of the Internet. While my early childhood was internet-free, as I got older I was introduced to both the wonders and horrors of the world wide web. And at first, I had to use dial-up internet to enjoy them. The haunting sound of dial-up internet booting up (and the anticipation that came with it) is just one of the many joys kids these days will never underst…

Reddit is not the enemy

So many bosses want excessive access to their employees in manners that cross some boundaries. On the first day of my first restaurant job, I asked one of the assistant managers if I could leave at 9 PM since, on the schedule, my shift ended at 9 PM. He laughed at me, said, “it's good you didn't ask that when the manager was around,” and we continued working. At the time, I felt like such an idiot because I had never had a job before, so I assumed all jobs were like that. Now I just realize thi…