Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome alert.

Take that one to the grave

Don't do this

Well that's an unconventional ability

I love old people . They get to chill all day long, living their lives freely, and don't give a hoot about anything. Old people will spend all day watching What Would You Do with John Quiñones and feel no shame. I don't know if my silly young self could do the same. There are a lot of downsides to being old. You're much more physically limited than when you were younger and start to forget things you used to remember. It's really not a great time in your life, but all you can do is make the bes…

Reddit is a singular website

Elevators are one of the most uncomfortable social environments the public has to offer. You're trapped in a tube with a bunch of strangers. You're packed incredibly closely with people of all different hygienic statuses. Worst of all, you're supposed to stay silent to avoid making people uncomfortable. Everybody's already uncomfortable in an elevator, and casual conversation is unlikely to solve this problem. If there's one thing I respect, it's the ability to clear out a crowded elevator . El…

Totally believable

We've all seen climactic marriage objection scenes in Hollywood movies— Shrek, The Graduate, The Princess Bride, Wedding Crashers— the list goes on. But has anyone actually witnessed a legit marriage objection in the middle of a wedding ceremony IRL? Apparently, a lot of people have! And some of their stories are totally bonkers. Someone recently asked redditors to share the juicy details about marriage objections they witnessed, and the replies do not disappoint. Keep scrolling for a handful o…

Lights, camera, debunked!

A wise man once said, “I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.” Creep is one of the most popular songs ever written, and it's easy to see why. Everybody feels like a creep and a weirdo every once and a while, and if you feel like it enough, it can be pretty hurtful. On the other hand, there are some personalities that are just unpleasant to be around. I can't stand it when somebody makes weird mouth noises all the time. It creeps me out when you can hear a…

Everything's much more annoying

Everyone loves a good prank.

Fellas, is it gay to love your wife?

I have the type of anxiety that makes me worried that I peaked in high school , even though I know I had a horrible time. My high school years had some positive moments, but my life got exponentially better once I graduated and moved far away from anyone I knew. There are some moments from high school I still think about, like my Senior prom , which was almost Carrie -esque in how traumatic it was, but that's a story for another day. Five years out from high school, I'm sitting pretty, knowing…

I will be honest with you: I have not always been the biggest fan of Reddit. When I was a teenager, I wrote it off as a place where nothing good happens. I thought that Reddit and 4chan had the same user base, and I wanted nothing to do with that kind of person. In college, I learned that Reddit could be an excellent tool for advertising things around campus. I even got in some beef with some dudes on my university subreddit for promoting my comedy group's show Catholic: The Musical.' Some midw…