The worst thing about animals is that they can't talk . I know there have been a couple of scientifically studied gorillas and dogs on TikTok who can say words, but that's not the same thing as talking. Humans are the only species that can speak in a grammatically coherent way, and that's a damn shame. I've had several dogs I wish I could talk to because they probably have crazy life stories. My first dog, Toby, had an extremely traumatic life before we got him. When the dog rescue found him, h…

It's that time of year again, folks. The snow has finally melted, the sun is shining, and the migratory birds are back in town. I can finally enjoy the rare pleasure of birdwatching and lounging in my backyard, while ignoring the surrounding evidence of my neighbor's epic parties. Even with the cans and bottles that dapple our patio tables, my slice of urban paradise is primo ground for enjoying the birds that have been flitting around the neighborhood. Just sitting on my steps for a few minute…

Cheeky

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I never thought I would be a cat person. My mom, a staunchly anti-cat dachshund lover, was not shy about her contempt for all felines. She'd recoil when neighborhood cats would come to her for affection, and loudly point out any time she got a whiff of disgusting cat piss. Basically, I was taught that cats are unfit for human companionship. While I enjoyed the company of my friends' feline pets, I never felt the connection. Fortunately, humans have the incredible ability to change their minds,…

Whether you live in a city or a suburb (or maybe even somewhere more rural) chances are you're at least somewhat acquainted with your neighbors. Well, if they're not total maniacs who give off threatening auras. As much as I like my human neighbors, I'm far more excited about their pets. And you bet I know everything from their names to their favorite snacks and allergies. My boy Ash (gorgeous male tabby) who lives downstairs happens to be the brother of my own cat. He loves a Churu treat almos…

Do I believe in Bigfoot? The real question is, does Bigfoot believe in himself ? This creature is world famous. He's been a national phenomenon since the 70s. An entire section in my elementary school's library was devoted to him. He should be on Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon and all those Jimmy shows, but he's too much of a coward to show his face. I don't want to be too hard on Bigfoot. It must not be easy to live up to all of those documentaries. He's also got a good reason to fear Bigfoot h…

Good things come in large packages. If you think otherwise, you're a fool. When you're opening presents on Christmas and you see a big box, the first thing you wonder is, “what could someone possibly have gotten me in a box that big? I'm an adult and I usually never get presents bigger in size than Starbucks gift cards.” When the

Ribbit ribbit

I don't know about you, but I loved the Tim Allen movie The Shaggy Dog when I was a kid. I thought the manner in which he communicated that he was his kid's father through Scrabble was an ingenious cinematic moment. However, I didn't know that this 2006 film was actually a remake until I was in college. Me and my college roommates were obsessed with watching terrible movies on Disney +. One of those movies was the sequel to The Shaggy Dog , aptly titled, The Shaggy D.A. Instead of the original…

As human beings, we tend to project human emotions and attitudes onto animals. This concept is called anthropomorphism, and even though it's not scientifically sound, it's still fun to do. In my anthropomorphic opinion , cats embody a laissez-faire attitude, appearing to be unamused and uninterested in the antics of people. Dogs are the opposite. They are spunky and extroverted and want to be all up in everybody's business. Possums embody something that everyone has within them, no matter their…

Love this bug

Happy Friday, meme enthusiasts and time wasters. We've put together another collection of meme-tastic delights, curated to kickstart your weekend with a hearty dose of humor, whimsy, and some light absurdity. This diverse selection of memes is ready to tickle your funny bone and take you on a rollercoaster ride from the basic and relatable to the downright surreal. There are memes that lament our penchant for spending money on fleeting joys like food, and memes that touch on the insanity of sim…

The feeling of a 45-minute commute on a train or a bus is an entirely different feeling than the same amount of time spent in a car . The latter is much more unbearable because you have so much more responsibility. You have your life in your hands in a car, and you must focus. When you're on the train, you only have to worry about whether you get off at the right stop, which is an absurdly easy task to accomplish. One of my favorite things about taking the train is that I can play on my phone d…