Hiding in the bathroom when you don't want to be somewhere is a time-honored tradition. I've done it my whole life; I'm not afraid to smell a little dookie to get me out of math class for five minutes. That is a price I'm willing to pay. Hiding in the bathroom improved in high school because that's when vapes got popular. Instead of the bathroom smelling like a bathroom, it was filled with an array of tropical fruit flavors . The teen vapers made my bathroom experience much brighter than any Fe…

Purr

Woof

To eat meat or to not eat meat; that is the question. As Thanksgiving comes and goes this weekend, it's natural that dietary needs and restrictions come up as topics for debate. Some animal fans think being a vegetarian or a vegan is a requirement for being an animal lover . Others believe that since animals kill and eat each other, and because human beings are animals themselves, eating meat is a non-issue. I think we can all agree that the way the meat industry treats and kills animals is not…

Bark Bark. Meow Meow. These are the classic sounds of the dog and the cat we all know and love. They are the most common pets for a reason, and that reason is that they are so rad. A dog will bark when they hear you coming out of the bathroom. A cat can stretch out to over three feet. These are iconic animals that I can't help but love with all of my heart. I understand why certain people do not want dogs or cats as pets. There is much more responsibility required for a feline or a canine than…

"Why so serious?" This is not only a quote from the greatest Batman villain of all time (sorry, Riddler) but an important question we must ask ourselves often. Why do we take everything so seriously, even though we don't need to? Boomers talk a lot of smack about Gen Z being too self-righteous and serious, but this is a problem that every generation deals with. Everybody is too serious! We were not put on this earth to yell at waitresses for having to wait 35 minutes to be seated. Things on Twi…

Oh yeah, baby. It 's Friday, y'all. But does the coming of Friday really mean all that much? As I get older, the arrival of Friday seems to bring less and less satisfaction. It's true that I can go out and party until 6 am without much work-related consequence (like, I won't get fired), but with age comes brutal hangovers, extra dehydration, and the dreaded brain fog that makes even simply existing a trial all its own. Moaning and groaning my way through Saturday and Sunday sounds like hell - a…

Adorable

It may not feel like it inside our hearts, but Easter is actually around the corner. Drug stores all over the United States have made the shift from pink, pink, and more pink, to a more inclusive array of pastel colors. That's right, it's bunny time, and brands are dedicated to the Easter holiday game. We've got foil-covered eggs mixed in with saccharine Peeps, tiny jelly beans and Cadbury eggs. While my mom was most excited to set up the Easter egg dyeing stations, I was in it for one class of…

No tail swishing here

Bone appétit

As a connoisseur of memes, I am pretty good at being able to tell when memes are going in and out of fashion - especially animal memes. Dog and cat memes are always en vogue, something that any self-respecting world wide web user can attest to. But other animals have had their days as well. Trash animals, for example, have been meme mainstays for years, but seem to have fallen off a bit in the last few. As much as we love raccoons and possums, we were kind of ready. Then there were birb memes a…

Chicken soup for the posters soul

I have a question for you. Do you like animals? If you answered yes, I have a second question for you. Do you like animals that aren't just cats and dogs? If you answered yes to both of these questions, congratulations! You will probably enjoy the animal memes that lie before you. I constantly think about what it means to truly be an animal lover, and I've finally cracked the code. In the world, there are animal lovers , and then there are pet lovers. Some people are literally addicted to havin…

Can't resist

Having a sense of humor is an invaluable quality. You don't have to be a brilliant standup comedian to know that! Comedy is highly beneficial if you're weak in other social skills. How many times have you heard the story of the class clown who was able to gain the respect of their fellow students through their sense of humor? I was 100% that kid when I was in high school. I took this John Waters quote extremely literally when I was a teen, and in some ways, I still do! "Anytime you make someone…