Twitter has a new main character this week, complete with a wild and unexpected backstory. I've found that most of the “Twiter Main Characters” tend to be parents who make mind-numbing decisions regarding raising their family. One of the most infamous of these characters is the Bean Dad, who sat idly by and watched his young daughter struggle to open a can of beans with a can opening for hours without helping her. Earlier this year, a parent described supporting their adopted kid's emotional ne…

These are not the owns they think they are.

Certain aspects of culture tend to seep into our brains. Over the past decade or so, especially thanks to hip-hop, rap, and Black Twitter , AAVE has definitely fallen into that category. Because of their prevalence, a lot of AAVE (African American Vernacular) has become slang. But not everybody is able to use it correctly. See, when clueless people use AAVE and related slang in order to be hip, it usually fails miserably. And when these attempts occur in public internet spaces, like Twitter, ch…

Talk about a staffing crisis

Fashion is funny. The other night at karaoke I saw two women dressed like a post-9/11 nightmare. Those child-proof bandanas you can tie. Their G-string thongs peeking from their heinously low-rise jeans. Baby-sized baby pink tees with Abercrombie logos. As a millennial who was denied all of these things by a strict mother , it brought back some serious feelings. Fashion choices, such as these, can inspire a lot of emotions and reactions. Anger. Sadness. And most hilariously, disgust and mockery…

They aren't scared 'til it's a category 11

Career advice can go wrong so quickly. On the one hand, there's your grandpa telling you to go to the office of your local Fortune 500 company, give the desk receptionist a firm handshake, and as for a job. On the other hand, LinkedIn influencers are infiltrating all corners of social media, giving inspirational speeches about how with a little bit of elbow grease, anyone has the potential to be mistreated by their boss. This case is a strange combination of the two; it's where boomer and influ…

Better luck next time.

We're not equipped

Shamone!

Recruiters probably help to match a lot of skilled people with quality vacancies. But they can be incredibly annoying and sometimes even straight up careless. They cold message you on LinkedIn , promising opportunities, pretending as though they're sending a genuine message rather than just filling in the blanks of a generic template. That kind of behavior has become expected – I don't even bother opening correspondence from people with a corporate headshot. We recently covered a man whose recr…

As a non-parent by choice, I swear that I have absolutely nothing against children. While some childless folk decry the practice of having and raising kids, I believe that we should all just focus on ourselves and do what makes us happy. The only part of child-rearing that offends me is the absolute insanity that some mothers display in their Facebook groups and forums . They are filled to the brim with unhinged anti-vax sentiments, bogus claims about the healing powers of essential oils and br…

We all have plenty of opportunities to embarrass ourselves. Hell, I embarrass myself almost every time I leave the damn house. Sometimes I jumble my words while talking and sound like a total moron. Thank god I'm in a relationship and no longer have to deal with sending embarrassingly desperate texts to guys I have a crush on. These moments of ineptitude are unfortunate, but they don't hold a candle to the times I've accidentally talked shit about a person's music to their face. Yes, multiple t…

There are some people in this world who make you really feel good about your own intellectual capabilities. In other words, their stupidity is astounding. Unfortunately for these people, that stupidity was displayed on national television for everyone to witness. If these people are an indication of average intelligence, then we fear for the state of humanity. Yikes. Guess you don't have to be smart to get onto a game show, after all.

When you get caught in a glaringly obvious web of lies , the best policy is generally to just own up to it. Nobody's falling for your BS anyway so it's probably best to not make yourself look even more stupid. This "tattoo artist" blatantly stole a bunch of their designs from other artists off of Google and then continued to play dumb after being called out . And the worst part? The copied art is definitely not as good as the original!

"Sometimes Amazon sends you what you need, not what you want."