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Strange, I don't recall his Patronus being a lion... - Matty Malaprop

As a bearded person, I resent the notion that facial hair is "disgusting." This poster will be hairing from my lawers soon, rest assured. - Matty Malaprop

Better than that crazy crooner from Sweden though. Talk about a real loon! - Matty Malaprop

Music may be a somewhat efemural thing, but the instruments it's made on are forever. - Matty Malaprop

But what if there is no spoon? Will Reese simply be ereesed from the annals of history? - Matty Malaprop

Oh, those terrorists and their turbane opinions... - Matty Malaprop

Don't delphin to this one too deeply. Sometimes it's okay for the pun to be so easy to sea. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster JayGeeKermit says: "If it was ice[d] coffee inside..."

See that terrible pun in the title? That's me dyslexically butchering the chinchilla's family name for fun and what might inevitably amount to the exact opposite of profit. WAMP. - Matty Malaprop

If that's her "Ono" face, then I'll truly never understand why John Lennon married her... - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Nieceywiecey says: "Character from League of Legends. Thought of this randomly whilst thinking about Mariah Carey's 'Emotions.' JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE WITH YOU GUYS."

Mariah Carey depresses me about as much as eSports, so this one really resonates with me, to be honest. - Matty Malaprop

Get over here and play a video game!

Apparently obesity and intellectual impairment go hand in hand, because the last time I checked, "Porche" was actually spelled Porsche... - Matty Malaprop

Say what you will about the woman, but I'm appreciative of the fact that she doesn't horse around in the parking lot. - Matty Malaprop

Livin' it up as he's going dark. - Matty Malaprop

They make him look elephancy, if you ask me! - Matty Malaprop