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Not even Clorox can clean the stains of an overwrought franchise. - Matty Malaprop

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By GFranco
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It might not be the most riveting story in the universe, but it certainly is a shoo-in for the most paternal. - Matty Malaprop

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Via Reddit
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I mean, come on. RAINICORNS. Also have you ever tried reading The Iliad and The Odyssey back-to-back? Infinite Jest was less trying than that! - Matty Malaprop

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What? No coke addict pictured in the throws of Blowmance? Pleated Jeans, I am disappoint. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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When it comes to getting your daily dose of grains, I can think of no better food to ingest than Methamphetawheat. - Matty Malaprop

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By tcrutch
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"Danson With The Stars": The hit new television program where Ted Danson pretends to be Carl Sagan. I've got every episode queued up on my DVR! - Matty Malaprop

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Poor Poe was never the same after his fiancée Annabel Lee's final, fatal encounter with his friend Tinky Winky. - Matty Malaprop

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Via Reddit
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For as much as I want to believe Springsteen will be cast in an episode of "Sherlock," I know it's probably hopeless. After all, he wouldn't be a great fit for British television seeing as he was born in the U.S.A. - Matty Malaprop