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Just 20 minutes every day, and your muscles will be Blooming in no time! And your figure will doubtless take on a whole new Depp! - Matty Malaprop

Source: Worth1000

Zeus must be so proud; his lil' boy just graduated with an MS in PUNCHING DEMONS IN THE FACE. - Matty Malaprop

Just don't try and argue with the man, unless you want to magically "disappear" quicker than a Che of light. - Matty Malaprop

Hive half a mind to contest this statement, but I can't deny the love I feel whenever I look into my honey's eyes. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Pictures and Bad Puns

the bustiest animal in Africa

Understanding the nuances of the letter R in the pirate lexicon is really an ARRRRRRRRRtform in and of itself. - Matty Malaprop

... or maybe it's just a spoonfulerism, because I eat both for breakfast every morning. - Matty Malaprop

One percent of people notice 99 percent of all grammar and spelling errors on the interwebs. #OccupyMerriam-Webster - Matty Malaprop

I apologize for the Skrillex overload on the site of late... so here's some palate-cleansing "dubstep" for you. - Matty Malaprop

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCmhPydD7zw"]

It's in the Bible, folks, so it has to be true. - Matty Malaprop