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Just don't make him the wrong kind of smoothy. I hear if you do that, he'll punish you by taking away your blending forever. - Matty Malaprop

It's in the Bible, folks, so it has to be true. - Matty Malaprop

It might not be the most riveting story in the universe, but it certainly is a shoo-in for the most paternal. - Matty Malaprop

Just don't try and argue with the man, unless you want to magically "disappear" quicker than a Che of light. - Matty Malaprop

Parents: the OG-est of trolls. - Matty Malaprop

Trolling is a art.

the bustiest animal in Africa

Well, I mean, "I" was... - Matty Malaprop

Great tyrannical dictator, or the greatest tyrannical dictator? - Matty Malaprop

Moar gifs over here!

I wanna hold your... paw? - Matty Malaprop

Unless that's an awkwardly shaped piece of cinnamon in a cup of cocoa, I'm not particularly interested. Thanks for the offer though, I guess. - Matty Malaprop