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... but can he Heskeep me satisfied? - Matty Malaprop

I guess you're just going to have to learn to control your emotions and find some alt means of coping. - Matty Malaprop

Yeah, I made a really lame joke related to Joy Division by simply using the world Closer in my title. WHAT OF IT??????? - Matty Malaprop

See what I did there? I made a joke making fun of Americans for being dumb and not reading. Aren't I just so clever????? - Matty Malaprop

Okay, so this is probably four minutes too long... but I just can't pass up the opportunity to make fun of dubstep, so here it is, natch. - Matty Malaprop

But seriously, where's the Grey Goose and the Camels? - Matty Malaprop