fork

... and I left it right where it was because ewwwwwwwwwww road food. - Matty Malaprop

You might think this pun is merely a clever means of censoring what "WTF" really stands for, but in fact it's far more insidious. The real message here is "Wrestle the Silver Tines." HOW'S THAT FOR DETECTIVE WORK? - Matty Malaprop

On a very unrelated note: Cump. - Matty Malaprop

I've never really understood forks in the road... maybe it's just me, but I've always thought they more closely resembled dowsing rods? But then I suppose dowsing rod in the road doesn't precisely roll off the tongue... - Matty Malaprop

Such inconsequential-yet-poignant acts of civil disobedience never fail to lift my spirits. - Matty Malaprop

I was gonna make a joke blending eating utensils and metal music for this write-up, but fork it. - Matty Malaprop