double entendre

... aaaaaaaaaaand this is why I majored in English. My sweet nothings don't require solving for variables, hollaaaaaa! - Matty Malaprop

DON'T CALL THAT NUMBER MAN HE HAS A COMBOVER AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT COMBOVER HAS BEEN!!!!!! - Matty Malaprop

Sex jokes and Harry Potter do not gel particularly well in my mind... - Matty Malaprop

-1 Loyalty: You get an emblem that says flirting you control gets +1/+0. - Matty Malaprop

Looks like somebody's feeling a little engorg'd, if you ask me... - Matty Malaprop

Do you have what it takes to be an hero?

Can we please just go back to mono-fart jokes as the de fact form of lowbrow entertainment? Please??? - Matty Malaprop

I'm one of those who do, Siri-usly. - Matty Malaprop

A big strong man like him can hang my gliders anytime, if you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop

No, seriously, they really oughta bathe that poor donkey! It can't be comfortable with all that mud on its hooves. - Matty Malaprop

I just hope they don't get too plastered tonight, otherwise I have a feeling the bro who's hosting the party's gonna have to scrape 'em off of each other in the morning. - Matty Malaprop

You know what happens with skank mazes like these? They end up pressed against a table underneath a line of pens. #awkwardlyinappropriatewriteups - Matty Malaprop

With a little advance notice, I'll be able to pop you out in time, and then we won't have to worry about unwanted pregnancy or yeast infections or anything! - Matty Malaprop

It also has a really long periscope, if you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop