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Why does this pasta taste like apples... ??? - Matty Malaprop

I mean seriously! How do these people get their APMS so high? It's like f%*@ing voodoo magic! - Matty Malaprop

I guess you're just going to have to learn to control your emotions and find some alt means of coping. - Matty Malaprop

The digital age has not been kind to this poor and hungry beast. - Matty Malaprop

It may have come 74 games later in the series, but discerning players all knew the second they played it that "The Elder Scrolls: Alzheimers" was really the spiritual successor to "Oblivion." - Matty Malaprop

Do these jeans make my tail look big? - Matty Malaprop

That sort of thing happens to the best of us, believe me. It's enough to make you RAM your head against the wall, though. - Matty Malaprop

The facepalm felt from a groaner hurts. The facepalm felt from a groaner-gone-unnoticed hurts more than anything else in the world. - Matty Malaprop