computer

Sure, you're paying more than $2,000 for a burger. But have you ever eaten another burger in your life that allowed you to emulate the original Oregon Trail? I DIDN'T THINK SO! - Matty Malaprop

I have a confession to make, everyone; my infinite neuroses and perpetual state of nervousness have branded me a lifelong nail biter. The only upside: I'll never have to worry about circuit-breaking a nail. - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fash and fab funny and showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

PRO: This registered sex offender is in the system. CON: THIS REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER IS IN THE SYSTEM! - Matty Malaprop

At least it's unmistakably an apple computer. - Matty Malaprop

That sort of thing happens to the best of us, believe me. It's enough to make you RAM your head against the wall, though. - Matty Malaprop

I mean seriously! How do these people get their APMS so high? It's like f%*@ing voodoo magic! - Matty Malaprop

... and just imagine how awful it must feel to get infected with a Trojan Horse IRL! - Matty Malaprop

Do these jeans make my tail look big? - Matty Malaprop

Why does this pasta taste like apples... ??? - Matty Malaprop

I always end up having to take it in for repairs. I tried doing it myself once, but I'm just terrible at picking up new skills cold. - Matty Malaprop