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The facepalm felt from a groaner hurts. The facepalm felt from a groaner-gone-unnoticed hurts more than anything else in the world. - Matty Malaprop

I can tell by the leotard and also by the perfect form she's demonstrating with that flip. - Matty Malaprop

I have a confession to make, everyone; my infinite neuroses and perpetual state of nervousness have branded me a lifelong nail biter. The only upside: I'll never have to worry about circuit-breaking a nail. - Matty Malaprop

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The digital age has not been kind to this poor and hungry beast. - Matty Malaprop