computer

I have a confession to make, everyone; my infinite neuroses and perpetual state of nervousness have branded me a lifelong nail biter. The only upside: I'll never have to worry about circuit-breaking a nail. - Matty Malaprop

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The facepalm felt from a groaner hurts. The facepalm felt from a groaner-gone-unnoticed hurts more than anything else in the world. - Matty Malaprop

Sure, you're paying more than $2,000 for a burger. But have you ever eaten another burger in your life that allowed you to emulate the original Oregon Trail? I DIDN'T THINK SO! - Matty Malaprop

I always end up having to take it in for repairs. I tried doing it myself once, but I'm just terrible at picking up new skills cold. - Matty Malaprop

At least it's unmistakably an apple computer. - Matty Malaprop

PRO: This registered sex offender is in the system. CON: THIS REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER IS IN THE SYSTEM! - Matty Malaprop

I guess you're just going to have to learn to control your emotions and find some alt means of coping. - Matty Malaprop

I mean seriously! How do these people get their APMS so high? It's like f%*@ing voodoo magic! - Matty Malaprop

... and just imagine how awful it must feel to get infected with a Trojan Horse IRL! - Matty Malaprop

Do these jeans make my tail look big? - Matty Malaprop