advice

And even when you think they're being honest, it's more likely they're just being ionic. - Matty Malaprop

Class is in session at the School of Fail!

I know life feels so hard right now, but I promise it'll get better! You'll persevere and then everyone will know will be green with envy over your accomplishments! - Matty Malaprop

Man, what is it with all these TAs with strange names? Helen Waite for my English class, and Fa Kyerself for my philosophy class... - Matty Malaprop

Isn't it always just the worst that such moments of clarity and realization always occur AFTER the fact? - Matty Malaprop

But please remember to be mindful of the "photography" part of the "No Flash Photography" rule in the museum. - Matty Malaprop

But what if I just want to be a Bumblebee? - Matty Malaprop

One of them murders innocent children and keeps your hands cozy and warm. The other is actually called a birdie and is loved by many many high school athletes in Hong Kong. The line's a little blurry, really. - Matty Malaprop

He is the walrus. And also Captain Obvious (who leads under the direction of Sgt. Pepper, naturally). - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, this pun is a total snooze if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

Barbacoa's: Where confession and concession meet in holy meltrimony. - Matty Malaprop

Form is everything when it comes to lifting your lady. - Matty Malaprop

IS HUMAN SUFFERCAKETION JUST TOO INHUMANE FOR YOU CREEPY FACELESS DAD MAN? - Matty Malaprop

P.S. Anyone know who drew this? Let me know in the comments!

Don't let the haters bring you down, hedge-bro. Just walk on by and tell 'em they gotta go fast if they want to jack your swag, or something. #WHATAMIEVENSAYING - Matty Malaprop