advice

IS HUMAN SUFFERCAKETION JUST TOO INHUMANE FOR YOU CREEPY FACELESS DAD MAN? - Matty Malaprop

P.S. Anyone know who drew this? Let me know in the comments!

Don't let the haters bring you down, hedge-bro. Just walk on by and tell 'em they gotta go fast if they want to jack your swag, or something. #WHATAMIEVENSAYING - Matty Malaprop

He is the walrus. And also Captain Obvious (who leads under the direction of Sgt. Pepper, naturally). - Matty Malaprop

But please remember to be mindful of the "photography" part of the "No Flash Photography" rule in the museum. - Matty Malaprop

I know life feels so hard right now, but I promise it'll get better! You'll persevere and then everyone will know will be green with envy over your accomplishments! - Matty Malaprop

Come in, come innuendo! We turn no one away (just over...)! - Matty Malaprop

The secret to successful relationships is always holding yourself with the utmost confidence. - Matty Malaprop

Man, what is it with all these TAs with strange names? Helen Waite for my English class, and Fa Kyerself for my philosophy class... - Matty Malaprop

And even when you think they're being honest, it's more likely they're just being ionic. - Matty Malaprop

Class is in session at the School of Fail!

... but what about slightly skeptical ones? Are those okay to click? - Matty Malaprop

Isn't it always just the worst that such moments of clarity and realization always occur AFTER the fact? - Matty Malaprop

If you're going to be forever alone, at least your bath bubbles can keep you company this way! - Matty Malaprop

To Mr. Fear's credit, he's a very cordial guest who makes some really fabulous finger sandwiches. - Matty Malaprop

One of them murders innocent children and keeps your hands cozy and warm. The other is actually called a birdie and is loved by many many high school athletes in Hong Kong. The line's a little blurry, really. - Matty Malaprop