advice

Don't let the haters bring you down, hedge-bro. Just walk on by and tell 'em they gotta go fast if they want to jack your swag, or something. #WHATAMIEVENSAYING - Matty Malaprop

Come in, come innuendo! We turn no one away (just over...)! - Matty Malaprop

To Mr. Fear's credit, he's a very cordial guest who makes some really fabulous finger sandwiches. - Matty Malaprop

Normally I hate drives that are always too eager to show off their ride's horns, but I can totally see why these two would be into that sort of thing! - Matty Malaprop

For what it's worth, I've heard Glass Onions do wonders for first and second-degree burns. - Matty Malaprop

This is eggsactly the thing I needed to brighten my otherwise dreary day! - Matty Malaprop

Form is everything when it comes to lifting your lady. - Matty Malaprop

I know life feels so hard right now, but I promise it'll get better! You'll persevere and then everyone will know will be green with envy over your accomplishments! - Matty Malaprop

And even when you think they're being honest, it's more likely they're just being ionic. - Matty Malaprop

Class is in session at the School of Fail!

Can we please just go back to mono-fart jokes as the de fact form of lowbrow entertainment? Please??? - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster IUgrad505 says: "Cheezburger is great when you need a < br > from life."

I see what you did there, sir (ma'am?). And I appreciate such a < strong > punny statement. - Matty Malaprop

... but what about slightly skeptical ones? Are those okay to click? - Matty Malaprop

And then you'll have to walk home in shame as everyone around is Mongloling at you. - Matty Malaprop

IS HUMAN SUFFERCAKETION JUST TOO INHUMANE FOR YOU CREEPY FACELESS DAD MAN? - Matty Malaprop

P.S. Anyone know who drew this? Let me know in the comments!

Barbacoa's: Where confession and concession meet in holy meltrimony. - Matty Malaprop

But please remember to be mindful of the "photography" part of the "No Flash Photography" rule in the museum. - Matty Malaprop