Yup, it's Patagucci

When I got my period I was devastated. I tried to keep it a secret from my parents for as long as possible, wadding up toilet paper and placing it in my underwear like a crude sanitary napkin. That didn't work for long. Soon I was frantically checking my chair for stains, living in fear of getting busted and mocked by my classmates , who already thought I was a total weirdo because I wasn't allowed to wear bras. Middle school was…not my favorite time. Anyway. I was convinced that my parents wou…

It's good to be self-aware, but sometimes I'd like to just be oblivious—is that so much to ask for??

Dinosaurs might have gone extinct, but Dino memes are forever.

Living like he means it

Vegan protesters are known for having a flair for the dramatic. Throwing red paint on your enemies might not convince people to get on your side, but it will certainly catch your attention. Many vegan activists have been criticized for their one-dimensional and erratic views on other people's diets. How vegans protest seems specially designed to make others angry. They see no gray area for why someone might not be able to have a plant-based diet. Many vegans are foolish enough to think that veg…

Behold

If we're being honest, astrology is hated by so many people because women love it. That's it! That's the only reason. It's such a joke because there's nothing so harmful or irrational in believing in any aspect of astrology. Everyone believes in things that are not completely rational or supported by hard evidence, and if you don't think that applies to you, you're fooling yourself. So many men like to act like they are they are completely rational people, not affected by any subjective outside…

So many people think that if you're a programmer , you must have a purely analytical brain with no room for creativity. That is patently untrue because everyone who has programmed anything knows that there's one arena in the code that allows you to stretch your creative muscles fully. I'm talking, of course, about the comments. Comments allow you to fully justify and make up for whatever monstrosity you've coded thus far. They add a little brightness to your day when you return and find a frien…

There was a queue

No more tears

Nearly everyone loves the Avengers movies. There are few blockbusters that have been able to pull numbers like Marvel flicks can. Although Avatar still holds the belt for highest-grossing movie of all time, Avengers: Endgame is a very close second, and 3 of the top 10 highest-grossing movies are Avengers titles. We love watching superheroes use the world's metropolises as their playgrounds. "The more destruction the better" we think to ourselves from the comfort of reclined theater seats while…

Sometimes memes get so incomprehensible that you need to pull back layers and layers of context even to explain them to an outsider. Lisa Rinna M&M is one of those memes. This meme started with an Academy Awards advertising campaign from 2008, which features Real Housewives star Lisa Rinna and Joey Fatone on the red carpet rendered as horrifying M&Ms . Why are they M&Ms? Why do they look like that? Only God knows. This year, the Lisa Rinna M&M has begun to pop up in various memes on Twitter and…

Back in seventh grade I didn't have many friends. Another thing I lacked was any kind of allowance. My mom gave me $1 a day for school lunch, while the other kids were able to walk around the neighborhood with five big ones, buying pizza or doughnuts for their lunch. Some girls would even make the trek to CVS or Rite Aid and spend their ample “lunch” money on makeup. Because I wasn't blessed with cash, I started stealing. First I stole ice cream from the crowded delis at lunch hour. Then it was…

That was quick

“How can something so annoying be turned into something so epic and beautiful??”