Please stop adding silent letters to kids' names...

Surely they can afford two smoke breaks

Twitter is a place where online culture is created. That can be said of any number of social media sites, but Twitter is one that transcends the website and enters popular culture. Have you ever watched a movie and thought, “This sounds like it was written by a robot whose only exposure to humans is through Twitter discourse.” I had that exact thought while watching the 2022 movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies , and I'm not the only one. Occasionally, tweets become so iconic that nobody ever forgets w…

Good vibes all around

Not yet

We have sass, we have class, and we'd really like to have another glass… of chardonnay

Do you still have the unbridled whimsy and joy of a child? Do you long to go back to being eight years old just for a day? Do you ever cry that you're never going to be a happy kid on Christmas morning ever again? To answer those questions: no, no, and never. I don't miss being a kid at all. When you're a kid, you can't go anywhere, do anything, and you have nothing. You've got less freedom than you'll ever have for the rest of your life. I'm not one of those adults who wants to watch kids' mov…

When you're a little kid, there's nothing scarier than the possibility of attending summer school. That's where you go when you're a juvenile delinquent throughout the year and don't finish your schoolwork. When a teacher brings up the dreaded idea of attending summer school, it's usually a simple scare tactic to submit a class of youngsters into obedience. There's nothing wrong with that! Once you get to high school , you realize that summer school is an actual possibility and not just a scare…

Ducks won't take no for an answer

I'm not feeling so hot. It's hard to pinpoint one reason for this ennui. But a quote from a wise hobbit man comes to mind when I think about my current state: "I’m old, Gandalf. I know I don’t look it but I’m beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin… sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don’t expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to." Yeah, it's a sad day when I'm quoting the fictional character Bilbo Baggins in relati…

The audacity

I am incredibly nervous about the upcoming movie in the Joker cinematic universe . For those of you who don't know, the sequel to the hit 2019 film Joker will be called Joker: Folie à Deux . The highly anticipated movie will co-star Lady Gaga as Harley Quinn , and get this…it's going to be a musical. I love musicals, so when I heard this news, I was more than stoked. Joker is already such a heightened and unrealistic movie anyways, I don't think that adding some Judy Garland covers is going to…

And extra special memes just for the moms this mother's day!

Greetings, internet travelers. A wise person once said that variety is the spice of life, and if that is true, our lives need some serious spicin'. Every day has started to feel the same, thanks to the dullness of routine and responsibility. If your brain feels similarly slow and spent from entering figures into another excel spreadsheet or catering to another annoying Karen , it's safe to say that you deserve a little relief from all this earthly pain. If wealthy people are allowed to go on ja…

Oh no

The white rabbit is just like me fr