g rated

Seriously, they're basically all the same song.

"I wasn't ready for this shirt.

I bought it for a 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shirt. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my bench press increased by a 100lbs. I whipped the whisky from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.

George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and this shirt literally turned me into a bald eagle. I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at P****town. Population: Me.

Click here and read the map state-by-state in detail.

Americans are enthusiastic about the promise of science but lack basic knowledge of it, with one in four unaware that the Earth revolves around the Sun, said a poll out Friday.

The survey included more than 2,200 people in the United States and was conducted by the National Science Foundation.

Ten questions about physical and biological science were on the quiz, and the average score -- 6.5 correct -- was barely a passing grade.