MLB

This marks the first time in the entire 146-year history of Major League Baseball that a game has been closed to the public.

The term "sneak" is used liberally here; you don't actually do any sneaking. You're going straight through security, in full view of everyone!

There's nothing quite like six Freedom Dispensers flying in formation over America's pastime.

Yep, the Cubs are gonna be that bad this season.

Sensual, deep DJ voice "And now, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together and grooooove with the smooth stylings of Josh Reddick. Mmm-hmm, baby..."

Some of you may be wondering why I'm posting a Japanese baseball player who plays for a Canadian team on Americana, of all places. Well, to that, I can only say: I love Michael Jordan. You know Michael Jordan?

The Mariners signed Robinson Cano to a 10-year, $240 million contract, ending his tenure with the Yankees. Negotiations were done between the Mariners and Jay-Z, (yes, that Jay-Z) but were almost halted when Jay-Z wanted the Mariners to add a tenth year to the nine year deal they had already spoke about. It didn't matter though because the Mariners caved because they desperately need a big bat in their lineup after watching nearly everyone on their team bat lower than .250 on a consistent basis.

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